why am i having this mixed feelings in me? what have i done? my heart is aching terribly but i duno why. whats going on with me? my mind is being intruded by him. all day and night long, i have been thinking of him. but why? she says imma in love with him. am i? i questioned myself and eventually came to realise that i need to struggle to answer that question. but why should i struggle for an answer? why? imma stuck in this lonely world. imma afraid to welcome any one. imma afraid that this time round it would turn out to be another frightening nightmare. imma too afraid to lose you if i get you. imma too afraid to welcome you into my lonely and colourless world. imma afraid of so many things. imma jus a person with no courage. but do i really like you? i duno, i really duno. i cant think, i cant imagine, i cant possibly like you. cus you're jus so perfect and seem so flawless. unlike me. imma jus another ordinary girl who lives in darkness. i could never ever see the light. the light glowing so brightly, hoping one day that i could see how it shines for me. unfortunately, it was to no valid. i had been hurt so many times. so many times that i had become numbed. imma afraid of loving someone again. imma afraid of the ending. imma afraid of being hurt once more cus the feeling of being hurt isnt nice, it isnt nice at all. i told myself nt to fall for you yet i have nt only fall for you but i have fallen to deep in love with you. i could not describe how much i need you through words, you could only know by feeling it. you have to feel it from the inner part of you. i missed you and i need you but i dun need you to be by my side, as long as i know that you're there for me, imma glad. really. i dun ask for more. imma still having this unusual mixed feelings. unless, her words really hits me. imma really in love with you. i duno. i may seem carefree on the outside but on contrast, i am a complex girl. you could never ever possibly walked into my world. it is filled with darkness. imma devastated, imma disappointed, imma going crazy. i kept on questioning myself, but i cant bring the answer out. i cant tho i really tried. pls tell me the answer or i plead you to destroy me. please. jus before i become insane. imma really struggling to breathe, i am really struggling to see the lights, jus once. i promised. please.