I'M NOT OKAY x(


schl's alright.
we, sec 3, had our thumbs up programme.
alright, it was wayyy cooll (:
its like a one-day-camp kind of thingy.
HAHAHAHAHAs.
there's cute/hot trainers xP
-beems-
3celsius and 3darwin were group tgt for the day.
keith, jia hui, minmin and qui jun
are our lovely trainers then.


we're appointed to the ava room to begin our activities.
played a game and was separated into different groups.
was in group 6 with md hakim, andrew, jun ming, li jue,
shu wei, pei fen, elaine and abdul hakim. (AGAIN)
had fun though.
did activites and had presentation by them.
had sweets (:
i enjoyed a lot and learnt a lot about my strengths and my weakness.
thanks to thumbs up :DD


so that means,
we, sec 3, didn't have lessons today.
okay, hell lots of people love to bully me ):
harris and puvan kept poking me td.
farhan from 3celsius love to tease me.
ahamd from 3celsius love to call me horny girl.
blah blahh blahhh
LOL.
i'm just so lovable la :X


okay, my mood was damn high for td la
until one part x(
mdm sharena came and met us to give out our chemistry paper 2.
i swear i was hell ):
i flunked paper 2.
first time in my entire life i flunked it!
i had no mood, i dont know what to say,
i dont know how to react.
was damn freaking numbed alr.
the thought of slping just kept coming to my mind.
URGHHH-


after that, went to macdonalds
with ain, md hakim and lm.
i queued up, bought my food and left.
i dont know how to face my friends.
i mean, i felt so useless.
they've been scoring wayyyy better than i do
and i'm... (loss of words)
i know i'm not suppose to say all this
but its my deepest thought.
i chose to remain solemn and be in a solitude.
my mind just went blank.
people laughs, people say, people pin-point.
i dont take them to heart
but somehow, there's a sharp pain in it.
i cant say i'm dumb nor can i say i'm useless
but sometimes, i really asked myself if i'm really dumb or useless.
i felt so helpless.
putting a brave front, i can no longer do it.
i'm breaking down.


happy-go-lucky is what you all see in me.
i pretended to be good and happy
so that you all dont see that much of stress-ness in me.
however, sometimes i just cant hide things
but remain quiet.
HAIS-
its a tragic tragedy for me ):
my mid-year is a total crap for any human being.
i doubt i can take it anymore.
i want to mug hard but why,
WHY THIS YEAR IS SUCHA BAD YEAR FOR ME?
no matter how hard i tried to buck up
no matter how hard i tried to improve
no matter how hard i tried to score well
i still dont get the result i wanted.
you all will say that i didnt put in ALL my effort
but the truth is, i already gave my 101% out.
i fought real hard.


i'm sorry, friends, if i've brought down your day.
home is somewhere i can let go of everything.
everything is a tragedy x(
i'll try to improve the situation.
i'm giving all my powers out alr!
i must.
today is a half good, half bad day.
i'll change for the better.


twelve more days (:
macau, i love.


alright,
so till then, SLEEP.
goodbye world.


i'm the best & i can do it!