Sweet Nothings

2008-02-22T19:11:00.003+08:00

MOVED.

2008-02-21T16:32:00.001+08:00

7. Seven. Qi(1).

Wish me luck. Cause i need them aplenty. *fingers crossed*

All About You makes me smile like nuts. No idea why but yes, probably the catchy tune which is still stuck in my head. *dance around and around and around and around*

I'm blogging in short paragraphs cause i think its cool. Don't you think so? And Adora feels so pretty today. Like *flips hair* Bahahaha. Don't kill me if you see this.

Movie outing today was cancelled. Cause i couldn't get out of house on time (sorry!) and that in my Cookie Monster, there's only one pathetic lollar +. I've forgotten that i asked mummy to keep all the lollar notes for me. What a cow.

Probably catching Fool's Gold or Jumper tomorrow. This time, my Cookie Monster is gonna be loaded. How eggciting! 8)

I wanna crash SAJC, like now. I just don't understand why ZJ doesn't like it there ): Sigh, if only my L1R5 is as good as his... IF ONLY. CrashCrashCrash. I wanna get ACJC's Fun O Rama teeshirt!! Any kind soul/souls?

Omg! My mind is not working perfectly. Its like jumping from one topic to another :O

Saturday. Wanna. See. You. There.

P.S. I long to breathe your air.

2008-02-21T04:21:00.001+08:00

*smile widely and again and again and again*

Sv sent a message which sincerely touched my heart (: He made me jumped up with eggcitement at 3+ in the morning. *smile secretly to myself* Tee hee, i like it i like it i do really like it. Ok Zoe is on the sv-fever once again. Pardon me though.

Meeting up as and when we could. Coolios.

Ok back to bed.

2008-02-20T13:18:00.005+08:00

Airbrush Tattoo.

And again, i changed playlist. Mcfly - All About You. Its my favourite track off all their albums. Listening to it now, it sort of bring back some memories ha. Happy memories, of course. I couldn't sleep last night cause i was doing some calculation in my head. Anw, we'll study together 4 years later (: Which is rather a motivating thing, i would say.

Last night, KengSQUARE made me mass-conversation on MSN with one of his JC friends whom i find is rather cute. Ok, lame as well. But oh wellllllllll~ its just a friendly conversation. No harm i guess (:

Just finished doing all the admin stuffs for mum. And then my dad called and said that his colleague's son went down to NP yesterday and appealed from Logistic to Accountancy and they gave it to him. He asked me if i wanna do the same. OF COURSE I WANT. So daddy, go get your half-day leave now and accompany me there. Sigh.

Somehow i'm feeling ~ inside. Worrying that i'll stay in DFST? Partially. Mixed feelings.. Gahhhh ): I've to wait for 8 more days. 8 more pathetic days! My current feeling: hanging loosely by a thread. My heart is like pounding so fast lah, feels like i could just die any minute. *insert everything that describe nerve-wrecking*

DON'T COME ANY CLOSER. I'M KINDA EXPLOSIVE RIGHT NOW.

P.S. If saying goodbye could be so easy.

2008-02-19T12:59:00.003+08:00

For starters, i'm starting to go through another round of problems, and emotional wars again. Whose there this time around to catch me if i really didn't get through it?

If i did it, i would have grown up. Something to be proud of i guess.

If i didn't? .. .. ..

FUCK

I never felt so screwed up before.

I should learn to appreciate what's given to me by god. I should learn to be contented. I should learn to stop being a pessimist. I should be thankful. DFST ain't that bad afterall. At least NUS offers FST courses. But still, hope my appeal is successful. *keeping the fingers crossed*

Now its really SP. Not Simple Plan but Singapore Polytechnic. QQ.

2008-02-17T14:45:00.001+08:00

I am just a shadow of what i used to be.

--------------------------------------------------------------

No Love. Changed playlist. I fell in love with this song from Simple Plan when i heard it last night. It made me cry for i don't know why. Meaningful lyrics. Spoke what's in me. "Take My Hand", "The End", "Save You", "Time To Say Goodbye" and "I Can Wait Forever" are love! (: Practically, every song off their lastest album rocks my underpants. Hmmm ok, enough of Simple Plan. LOL Love Sebastien Lefebvre and Pierre Bouvier! *rise eyebrows continuously*

I dread every Sunday. Cause its just plainly walking around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around the entire house, which i've already been doing from Monday to Saturday. What a sad life i lead ): I'm gonna say hello to Mr. Refrigerator later on, again.

2 more days to posting. I'm not anxious or whatsoever. Just gimme any courses from my 12 choices and not just any __. Daddy's planning on the next trip during the March Holidays. Japan, Hong Kong, New Zealand.. Hopefully Japan cause i love that country. But still, Korea is #1 (: We've practically combed every part of South Korea last year. So yeah.

I wanna pick up Photography. Its my passion, my love. But mummy objects cause she said that i can't live on my passion. Its unrealistic. But she said something which is more comforting. "But you can always make it your hobby. Like your 'part-time job'." *smile widely* I'm gonna be the greatest photographer. Mehehehe.

I've so many pictures to upload but i too have many many lazy bones in me. OMGGG. Soon ah soon, those pictures which i owe will be up. Sorry for now.

P.S. Gimme strength to pull it through.

2008-02-16T18:04:00.003+08:00

Everything falls apart. Again.

TW Carnival. Reached at 11+ when i was suppose to meet Limin Px at 1030 :x (thank god they forgot about the whoever-late-will-hop-like-a-frog-around-the-canteen rule which was, sadly, set by yours truly) Muahuahua. Walked around, finally saw some familiar faces (Darwinians) OMG, i miss them so much!!! Saw my Boss!! I miss your smile nehxzx (: Went to the basketball court and snapped with Lin Htet and rest. Had hell lots of fun with it. Passed Valentine the gifts and Jellyfish for his very belated birthday present. LOL. Hope you all like the gifts :/ Bumped into Rory ^^ at the parade square (okay, sounds so wrong. sorry Gage LOL) Rot at the canteen before Shahirah came.

Again, walked around. Saw Rerrel, Peng Yong and Nelson. Was talking about Polytechnic and stuffs. NP shall be it LOL. Gave him the carnival tix cause i don't intend to buy anything. So Rerrel, you owe me one ah :D Sat at the canteen and chit-chatted. Then came Harris. He never fails to make me laugh like mad. I love that boy. Stone, stoning, stoned. Bumped into Besties while walking out of school. Happy happy ah (: But his hair's like ._. and the shirt he's wearing is like OMG. Px will love him, i believe. HAHAHAHA. Shahirah and i were like dying to go home but Limin doesn't wanna go home yet so we went to Westmall to window shop. Had BK (triple yay!) Laughed our ass out man. AND THERE WAS THIS FREE HORNY SHOW FOR US. But it didn't last long ): LOL. Went to the library, then Popular, Arcade, MRT (stone), home.

OHOHOH, I BOUGHT SIMPLE PLAN'S ALBUM ALREADYYYYYY! YAP-YAPHOOOO! :D

Going out later for dinner. Righttttt. Anw thanks Limin for the Spongebob bolster (yes, it did add on to my Spongebob collection. TY!) Peixuan, for that lovely heart-shaped bottle filled with hand-made stars. Shahirah, for the *blink blink* heart cushion. Hui Xiang, for that wonderful almighty watch. TY FRIENDS.

Last night. Watched Survivor 16 with sv and Hell's Kitchen, alone. He had tutorials to complete ): Ohwell nvm. Hee hee. I think i'll enjoy every Friday night (: Bahhhhhhh..

I WANNA BUY MORE SPONGEBOB STUFFS. WOOOOHOOO.

And sorry to XiaoMei. *plays One Republic feat. Timberland's Apologise* (i think XiaoMei should be the one playing it) I promise, movie outing next time. Sorry for making you sad today. I apologise. Sincerely. Seres-ly.

23 Feb. I hope to see you there. Really. Hope. You. To. Be. There.

P.S. I miss you. Like seres-ly ):

Happy 17th Birthday, Gabe! :D

2008-02-15T19:38:00.004+08:00

You, left me thinking real deeply for the rest of day.

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I had a brilliant time with Px Limin and Shahirah today. P. S. I Love You (film) : 2.5/5 rating. P. S. I Love You (book) : 5/5 rating. However, those little catchy lines used are pretty awesome.

"I know what i want. The one in my hands right now." (He was holding onto the girl, fyi)

"I woke up every morning, just to see your face."

and

"I know you're still here. I can feel you."

Touching film i would say but too boring. And they cut a lot of scenes from the book. For those who read the book, you'll be disappointed. For those who didn't, enjoy. Oh and every time i wanna fall asleep, they'll show the okay-people-this-is-the-part-where-you-should-cry-now scene. >(

Hung out at KFC. Chit-chatted and planned what time to meet tomorrow. I'm gonna snap till your pants drop during the carnival. So people, don't say no to moi. And to Jellyfish, i have yet bought your jelly. I couldn't find it anywhere ): But i'll get one for you by hook or by crook. Promise.

To XiaoMei, i'm sorry if i've watched P. S. I Love you, without you. But i'm willing to watch it again, this time with you, though i'm slightly disappointed with the plot. Sorry.

Alright, i've just submitted the online application form to MOE, applying to be a Relief Teacher in any schools. OMG, it definitely nervous the shit out of me but at the same time, i can't wait to work again. Cause i'm in need of cash $$!! Comeon, give me a reply like, tomorrow! *prays*

P. S. I'll always love you.

2008-02-15T11:43:00.001+08:00

And so i've decided to remove the tagboard. Too many spammers. Just too many. I don't know why they just aim at me but not others. Maybe afterall, they are the same person ohwell, i don't have enough brain juice to squeeze and think who you are and what are your motives. Just disappear from this planet ok? Gimme peace. Thank You.

Last night was awesome. Thank You.

I love Simple Plan. Like so hardcore! I'm so gonna grab their newest album at HMV as soon as possible woohoo! Simple Plan made me smile like an idiot. My first love.

"run run run one more mile, make me smile."

Since i've removed my tagboard, i'll reply the previous tags here for the last time:

Simple guy aka Md Hakim: HAHA Vote for you yeah? I definitely will, but treat me when you win ah. (:

IchiGO!: LOL its ok. I'll view and do it in just a minute.

drewdrew: Happy New Year to you too :]

david: I'm sorry but the way you tag has already turned me off. Moreover i do not know who you are, since when did we meet on Jan 16. I think you made a mistake and tagged on the wrong board. But still, i thank you for making such effort. But i don't wish to see you tag anymore. It destroys everything thats here.

drewdrew: Thanks baby. Ching Rong taught me already (:

2008-02-14T12:41:00.002+08:00

Happy V. (Valentines) Day, People!

and,

Happy V. ~~(Vexed)~~ Day, Zoe.

Sometimes there's only one thing left to say..

2008-02-13T18:07:00.002+08:00

The world's a rollercoaster; and i am not strapped in.

I lift my hands and as i feel weightless,

propel me off the seat

and let me fade into my background.

The world's so huge that sometimes, i feel so insignificant.

Today is unlike any other day. I caught a movie with mummy. Ah Long Pte Ltd. I would say that movie critics of the film were half right and wrong. I enjoyed that Singapore production (Ah Long Pte Ltd) cause i understood those 'Singaporean's definition of comedy'. I laughed, yes i did. And at some part of the film, i was this close to tearing. Overall, i won't say that Ah Long Pte Ltd is a lousy production cause i'm a Singaporean (so we must support Singapore's productions) and that film did entertain me. But there sure are some scenes which i still think are illogical. Anw i give it a 3/5 rating. Not a bad production.

And i went to the bank with mummy today as well. All the collections i had from CNY will be placed in my future pocket. So to say, i'm quite penniless now. Was discussing with Jellyfish about being a relief teacher for the next 2 months. Maybe i'll give it a try but if i'm not notify by 20 Feb, then i'll start work at Swirl. Not quite a bad decision huh. I'm the incredible Zoe (:

Saw lots of people getting ready for tomorrow's so-called big event - Valentines Day. Buying Chocolates, flowers, cards. I used to be one of them, busy thinking of what to get for the people around me, for the past 4 years. This year, its retirement for me. Ain't gonna do or plan so much for anyone. Maybe just a small surprise for Valentine on Saturday. I read an article from the papers not long ago. Quoted: If that person holds a special place in your heart, everyday should be a Valentines Day.

And so, i think its quite true.

Here i am, playing the saddest songs, scanning through your crumpled letter like my daily bread. I'm leaving things unsaid, aplenty.

Warring hearts.

2008-02-12T17:45:00.000+08:00

And so today is just another day like how i would spend it at home. Got to talk a little with mummy and got to know little things. Helped her to run some errands and stuffs. At the late afternoon, listened to Melaine C's tracks. Actually i was searching for SpiceGirls - Mama. But ohwell..

As usual, i miss my friends. I miss sv. I miss having a target to aim and complete everyday i open my eyes. So much for a long holiday which everyone is waiting for and looking forward to except me. Long breaks = stoning sessions. I'm turning into a fossil. Got to find some decent job after posting. Swirl Gelateria.

Valentines Day in 2 more days. I'm feeling ~ now. QQ. My family is becoming more and more Korean-ish ever since we returned from Korea. We shop at Korean Supermart, buy Korean food, eat Korean tibits, buy Korean clothes, listen to Korean songs. And now, seaweed is a must-have side dish for us in every meal. OMG. Ok for now back to my stoning session. Be prepared to see Rock Lee again (Darwinians inside joke) Whatever it is, have a nice day everyday people!

Why am i trying so hard to know you when actually i just wanna be friends?

2008-02-12T00:06:00.000+08:00

Finally found something worthy to blog about. Ha! Chinese New Year huh, needless to say moi gain lotsa weight ): But i'm a happy little girl. Kept walking for the 4 consecutive days like QQ. Now, my feet are suicidal. Especially with those devil heels on. Anw i had a wonderful CNY.

I believe pictures speak louder than words. So enjoy!

Your voice is like the soundtrack of my summer.

2008-02-02T13:56:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY, ZHAOGAYJING BRO! :D

I'm on the seventh heaven now. Don't bother to bring me down cause i'll refuse to. Heh i love sv! :)

On a side note, P and his band rocked LT5 last night. And i enjoyed myself to the fullest! Mosh baby mosh :P

I LOVE YOU

LIKE A FAT KID LOVES ICE CREAM.

svxzxzxz.

2008-01-31T14:00:00.000+08:00

I'M FEELING

DAMN DAMN DAMN GAY

RIGHT NOW.

(and i dont know the reason to it :x nehahahaha)

2008-01-31T13:05:00.000+08:00

First thing first, i'm dying of hunger. Didn't had Dinner last night cause i ate Pizza Hut and KFC with mum for lunch. And didn't had Breakfast today cause i just woke up ._. Adding onto that, i'm home alone yaw! All my timing for Breakfast/Lunch/Dinner/Supper is jumbled up huh. Poor rummy (its the name for my tummy, in case you didn't know)

And VIOLA, i'm crashing NJ on the 6th followed by an outing with sv later in the day. Weeheehee! Its gonna be the best day ever, again. Attending NJ's Talentime 2008 this Friday night (which is tomorrow!) Thanks to P for the tix and may you and your band rock LT5 yo. Ok, and why is there like always NJ? Hmmmm... no idea LOL.

Today is the last day of January. Yay! I've so many fun days ahead. Woohooooo. In any case, drop me a text at 9-HUITING if you've any fun lobangs. No, i'm seres. It's really 9-HUITING. Call that number if you can't believe your computer screen :P So yeah, drop me many many many texts. Thank you! :) And hopefully 10 Feb will come real soon, cause i need (BADLY!) to renew the handphone plan as i've like less than 80 text messages to use.

I want the Spongebob and M&M tees, like seres-ly. QQ.

Oh and i've decided to hang the Superman keychain which i bought from Korea on my handphone yesterday. Its looking as adorable as its owner :)

Ok i swear this post is damn random. So random that i become super random now. Toodles.

2008-01-29T11:18:00.000+08:00

Once a friend, always a friend. We'll be there with you, though not physically but at least mentally.

Miss me when i'm gone.

A very special friend is leaving me (or rather us) today. And yes, i'm not feeling good but i'll try to. Cause i want him to be happy. What's more, its not like he's not coming back. Maybe in another 2 years. Yes it may seem long but i believe that he'll keep his promise. We can't do much cause he has to go back, for good i believe. So why not wish him all the best and send him off with smiles instead of crying our hearts out and saying how much we want him to stay or how reluctant we are to let him leave. This will only make him feel even worse cause he too, doesn't wanna leave Singapore; doesn't wanna leave his friends.

I believe he'll be back for us. At least. We'll miss you and never forget you.

Hyperman, stay happy and healthy. Loves Supergirl.

2008-01-29T11:00:00.000+08:00

100 text messages for o-n-l-y 12 days.

How to survive?!

Please teach me how.

2008-01-25T13:03:00.000+08:00

I'm in a dilemma.

Results was ok. Half relieved, half annoyed. Qualify to JC, MI, Polytechnic and ITE. When i got my result slip, i was quite disappointed with myself. Cause i know somewhere in a little corner of my heart, i'm dying to get into a JC. ACJC/SAJC to be specific. But since my pts is not that good enough. The door to JC has closed for me but the door to Polytechnic has opened :) I'm quite satisfied cause my L1R4 is good enough to get into the courses i wanna go. So yeah, i've thought through the entire night. I would rather go to a Polytechnic knowing that i can get into a good course which will lead to a bright future than to go to a not-so-good JC which i'll have to struggle my ass off throughout the 2 years. If worse, 3 years if i retain.

And another pro for Polytechnic is that it is confirmed that Poly Graduates will earn a basic pay for approximate $1,200 when they just step into the world. This is not being money-face but realistic. And yes, i'll work my ass for the next 3 years and make it to University. Then i'll be on par with the people who's enrolled into JC. Afterall, Polytechnic isn't that bad huh.

Was multi-tasking on MSN last night. AWMY said that i've the JC look. But think again, nowadays those who qualify to JC are moving into the Polytechnic area. So yeah, i've made up my mind. Polytechnic, that's it. Somehow its hard to make up my mind on which courses to put first. As in, to rank them in 1, 2, 3, 4 and so on. I'm seriously having an ultra headache now. And at the same moment, how i wish i just put any JC down and then take BCME for the next 2years. Isn't it better and what's more? It'll cause me less headache/problems, like NOW.. Gahhhhhh. ZOE, DON'T BE INDECISIVE! Polytechnic! Ok, i'll update you guys about the courses the next time. (when i've finally made up my mind on them)

And yes, going to a Polytechnic; its time to start afresh and make new friends. New life, live it.

Sv called me when i was on the bus home yesterday. I was happy for his good results and on the other hand, ashamed of mine. Well, he's in a dilemma too i believe. We'll meet up every now and then. Till then, he'll work his ass off JC and eventually go to army and back to Uni. And as for me, i'll work my fullest in Poly and eventually admit into a Uni. Yay!

Ok till then, goodbye. Reach me through texting/calling. I won't be using the computer that frequently i think. Toodles.

And Limin, we'll solve all the queries which you have some other day. Tags will be replied the next time, sorry. But at the same time, do tag! :)

2008-01-25T13:00:00.000+08:00

Love overrides Friendship.

Tell me that it isn't true. Cause i still can't accept the fact that you think so. (or rather your actions tell me so) Assure me that you're still here cause i'm feeling very insecure now. Or for the past few days. I've been thinking a lot. And all this mind games are driving me crazy.

I, personally, take this issue to heart because you're very important to me. You'll always have the best from me to you. Throughout these 4years, i have 5 best friends. Maybe not best, but the closest. Anw you shan't be bother with this issue anymore. Cause i am putting it to an end. Right now.

Ups and downs. I believe that i'll find my Up moments very soon. Because i will not be stuck in this for long. I have to move on. So must you.

Ring me up when you need someone to talk to. You know i've always been there 24/7 since last time. May this friendship remain.

Get me a swing. I need it. Bring me out to the beach. I need it. Buy me an empty bottle. I need it. Gimme a piece of paper. I need it. Get me a table full of food. I need it. BADLY.

2008-01-22T22:02:00.000+08:00

Today's entry will be s-p-e-c-i-a-l :) Cause pictures paint a thousand words and i do have lots of pictures to upload LOL. All in all, i had a splendid day with L and W. They rock my underpants yo! :P

A very very very brief summary of today: Met L and W at YewTee MRT. Train-ed to Orchard. Watched One Missed Call at Lido. Had lunch at Taka's Pasta Cafe. Shopped around Taka before sending L to work. Train-ed with W. Alighted at AMK to meet up with mum and sister who were at AMK Hub. Walked, shopped and eventually rotted at The Coffee Bean. Had White Chocolate Dream. Dad picked us up and went to buy Chilli Crab home. Home sweet home at 8+.

Lesson learnt: Never catch any movie at Lido. Cause the theatre sucks to the max. Seriously.

I love L and W truckloads. With them, my day is always :). And i like it a lot. "They are my new best friends." (sounds like a Primary School kid but i don't care) I LOVE THEM.

2008-01-21T15:39:00.000+08:00

Ok its confirmed. 24th of January. Thursday. 2pm. My death date. Everyone, please remember.

For a more reliable source, take a peek at http://www.moe.gov.sg/press/2008/pr20080121.htm

Somehow i'm happy. Happy that i need not wait any longer cause i've waited for long. It felt like thousand years of waiting. On the other hand, i'm panicking. Hopefully everything turned out to be fine. At least a L1R5 of 13. God, can you hear me? ):

No use panicking at the disco. I know. So wish me luck people. Darwinians, you all will do very well :) Other candidates, all the best! Till then, shake shake shake.

Hope, that is the only antidote to fear.

2008-01-21T14:29:00.000+08:00

I would say that family and friends are always the one cheering me up when i'm at my deepest end. Thank You all. Yesterday was not that bad though my mood, at the beginning of the day, was rather shaky. Again, went to Marina Square with dad to visit Grandpa (he opens a store there) My mood started to improve bit by bit when we actually bumped into Conrad. Ok he hit it off with dad immediately though they only met once like previously? Well its a good thing :) Had Carls Jr.

Went shopping for CNY clothes. Shop after shop, i nearly went beyond crazy. My mood reached the highest when we walked into Zara. Omg the salesperson there just blew me off my feet. Guys were wearing tuxedo and hell, they're all so good-looking. Shahirah will know the explicit details of it bahahaha. Went back at around 5+. I wouldn't say yesterday was the best day (cause the best day was with sv) but it was acceptable. And because of Conrad, yesterday was much more perfect. Thank You :)

Another day out with Limei and Winnie on Tuesday. I'm looking very forward to it :) Hopefully we'll scream our lungs out and forget our worries while movie-ing. Nowadays i find myself mingling with people from ACS, RI and SN. They're my Primary School friends and we're still staying strong after so many years. I'm happy about this fact. What about people from TW? We kind of lost contact though they still tag my board every now and then. Sad? Nah. A pity more like it. People say friends from Secondary School are the one who will accompany you throughout the journey of life. But it doesn't seem like it. So far and recently, i've hang out with Limei, Winnie and some handful from TW the most. The rest, even my closest buddies, seem so far away. I understand that there's school but all i need is an hour of yours. If money solves everything, tell me how much an hour of yours cost and i'll buy it. This may sound dramatic but true enough, all i need is an hour of yours.

Distance is distance. No matter how many steps i'm willing to take, i'll never reach you if you refuse to move forward. I'm quite resigned to fate that our friendship will remain like this. I'm not whining, i'm just expressing my personal views. Don't take them to heart and condemn me hardly if what i type here does not please you. Because they're my point of views.

I don't need over a thousands of friends. Just a true one will do. And it seems like i do only have one. I'm thankful.

2008-01-20T11:46:00.000+08:00

I slept with a heavy heart last night.

I loathe thinking. I like being -tional. I loathe having to feel hurt. I like to be alone. I loathe saying so much. I like to type in short sentences. Cause i think it damn cool. So cool that i shit ice cubes. I loathe making decision. I like Mass Comm. I loathe picking the wrong course. I like Banking and Finance. Caught in a dilemma. I loathe having this don't-know-what-to-choose feeling. I like being random. Like what i've typed before this. I like digressing. Last night was the worst night ever. No one answered to my messages. At least within that few hours. No one answered. Then i think its the last few words which i had left on MSN for Conrad. That's why he called me the minute he came out from shower. And we talked till 3+. For once, sv didn't come to my mind. Why? I don't know.

Conrad went to NP yesterday. I was suppose to go too but there was a change of plan. N and T were there too. Regretted? Not so. Missed. More like it. Cause i haven't been seeing them for like ages. On a lighter note, so coincidentally Conrad's considering the same courses as me. Mass Comm and Banking and Finance. But its either NP or SP yeah. So perhaps. We'll be classmates or schoolmates some day. Yay? Too early to say anything.

Yes i'm still confused whether i want Banking and Finance or Mass Comm. Cause. Banking Finance is more interesting to me ONLY due to the career prospects and possible income earned. HOWEVER, i have almost zero interest in it.

Mass Comm looks interesting, like it's quite English based and i know i can speak well enough to do pretty well. BUT. I cant see myself being some Radio DJ or journalist.... maybe Public Relations but OMG. And I guess those two courses are interesting enough but but but but I dont know about the career prospects. I really want to earn good enough money when I'm older to support a family VERY VERY decently and give a good education and shit to my kids and be able to support them in everyway such that I can turn them into hot bodied sportsmen/women once they hit their teens and do well in studies unlike me. SHIT LAH. I loathe these kind of life changing/determining/screwing up decisions ):

25th is D-Day. 5 more days to go. I would be lying if i say that i don't give a damn to it but what more can i do? I loathe this. Like seriously. Fuck. Wanting to scream that out to the whole world. But all i could do is to type it out at this pathetic blogger of mine. Fed up, yes.

All above thoughts were what went through my head for the entire night. And i've to thank Conrad for being there. At least i know i've a friend who really, and i mean really, care. And somehow i feel that my extension cord to the people out there had been cut off. I don't have the i-belong-to-you-or-here feeling. And i prefer to keep everything in silence. Thank you.

Sad. Not so. Hurt. More i think.

Don't bother about me. I'm just being paranoid or whatever. Me with my stupid brain and crazy thinking. Let me chill. I hate life. Period.

2008-01-19T22:09:00.000+08:00

Today was Fab-ta-bu-lous! :) Went to SP with dad in the morning from some seminal talk about "How to help your teens choose the right course in Poly" (something like that) The talk, as usual, was boring. Except for the second speaker, i think he's wayyyyy more interesting than the SP's Principal. Bahahaha :P

And i didn't know i can crap so well with my dad, till today. So the tour around SP ended like 2+? Afterwhich we went to Clementi to have Western Food! Yummy yummy :B Then dad dropped me off at Clementi MRT while i train-ed to City Hall to meet Limei, Winnie and Yuyun. And surprisingly, i was the first! :D So i stoned for a moment before they came, hee! Moving on. Walked to Marina Square. We hunted for food F-I-R-S-T lol. Had a fun time deciding what to have for lunch like doing Open Numbers. Laugh out loud! In the end, we settled for Swensens. I had Sticky Chewy Chocolate while the rest had their baked rice. We're all happy people yo :)

Next destination, brought them to the shop which sells beautiful beautiful slogan tees. And all of us got at least one slogan tee. Then we checked out the Cinema. The next Le Grand Chef starts at 8+ so we decided to shop instead. Walk, walking, walked. The next thing we knew, we're walking towards City Hall MRT already. Bahahaha. Train-ed and we had lots of laughing sessions lah! Like omg. Tried snapping pictures without asking others to help us. And the result? 3/4 people were in the photo LOL. And and and, Limei got a super ultra to the max candid picture of me and she refused to delete it. But oh well, as long as THAT picture is able to make Limei and Winnie laugh their troubles away, i'm cool :) Had more laughing sessions even after Yuyun dropped off at Outram Park MRT. And yessa, we're catching Le Grand Chef this coming Tuesday! Yay.

Limei walked me home and somehow i decided to enter from the guard-house's entrance instead of the backdoor LOL. And we stood at the pathway just outside my Condominium and chatted till like 9? HAHAHAHAHA! We talked everything under the moon. We got high, we got low, we got crazy, we got panic, we got dramatic, we got everything you name it. Talking to her is so niceeee! Oh and we found a secret hideout to chat our day away the next time. Hee! Catch us there if you could :) Then we realised Winnie's waiting for us online like since 8.30pm? So, we rushed home LOL.

Reached home, showered, onlined. But none was online -.- HAHAHA, nvm i shall continue to wait yeah. I'm little Miss Nice Girl :D Ok, i shall end this post with pictures!

And,

Happy 17th Birthday, Winnie Love! :)

Hope you enjoyed your day today with us! :D Ok and i'm so sure that Olevel results are definitely releasing next week. Either Thursday or Friday. If i'm wrong, blame SP. But seriously, its coming! God bless us, Darwinians! And of course, the other candidates who took the 2007 Olevel papers.

2008-01-18T19:05:00.000+08:00

I'm a happy little DaMei cause i met my lovely little XiaoMei just now. Tee hee, i'm happy. And thanks for your super surprise :) I love it very much. I MISS YOU LIKE A COOKIE MISSES ITS CHIPS. Many many mwahs! =P

2008-01-18T14:05:00.000+08:00

Ok as you all know, i'm not that type of person who really believes in Horoscope or whatever crap yeah. But recently, yes recently i found that my Horoscope can be quite true eh. I read the papers a few days back, 15th of January i think, and i came across mine which says:

"Your parents, grandparents and other older relatives are on your mind. If possible, check in with one or more. They may have good advice for you. If not, honour them in your own way."

Right and the day before i read this, which is 14th of January, i remembered i was panicking-at-the-disco about the releasing of results and complaining to Shahirah till midnight. And this shows that my Horoscope is frigging true! What's more, i read my yesterday's Horoscope and it says:

"You have a strong romantic side and it is out in full force right now. If you are single, you might not be for long. If you are coupled, make sure that you find some time alone today and make the most of it."

Like, what? And i bumped into Paul Twohill yesterday. Does that mean that he's my prince charming? Bahahaha! Even if he is, i won't want it LOL. So what now? I'm totally into this thing call Horoscope? Or am i just living in my unrealistic world again? Don't know. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe.

Ok today is the rot-at-home-plus-stone-like-a-rock-and-hopefully-die day. Was suppose to catch a movie at The Cathay in the evening BUT everything turned out to be a flop. Thanks to my parents. I've to babysit my brother who is sucha irritating brat. Urgh hopefully they allow me to stay out late tomorrow since they're taking my today away ._.

Happy 19th Birthday, Liang Huo! :),
Happy 18th Birthday, Hazel! :) and
Happy Birthday, Jay Chou! :)

Till then, goodbye people!

2008-01-17T22:11:00.000+08:00

SAY SAY SAY; YAPHOOO! :)

I shall say that today is the best day ever. Yes we went to Ngee Ann Polytechnic this afternoon. Saw Liang Huo at the mrt. Scared the shit out of me. And hell, the sun was so scorching lah! QQ. We reached there like 3.45pm? And and and we missed the Paul Twohill event lah ): I swear i was so downnnn! Oh well, we stayed at the CenterStage till 4plus to watch Soler who performed at 4pm. Ok, Soler is just so frigging hot! The twin brothers, omg! Everyone was so high can?

After Soler, we went to browse through the CCA in Ngee Ann. Then i saw "Water Polo" and ran off immediately. Cause don't wanna see Kelvin ah HAHAHA. Anw, i've been texting Kelvin my OBS mate throughout the day. So Sha, Limin and Doreen; i'm not texting my boyfriend ._. but my OBS mate, yes. Bahahaha. Moving on. Went to buy drinks like finally! QQ. Walked to the courses fair. Feeling VERY awkward. Saw my tuition mate, Derrick. Then my Primary School classmate, Sophia. Then TWhyeans. Then Rory! :D HAHAHA. Got this ice cream voucher by filling up the surveys. Yay! Ok stoned. Walked to the School of Business and Accountancy. Got this tour guide to bring us around. Was stoning half the time. But yes, he was a good tour guide :)

After that we left for KAP. We're hungry people! OHOHOH, before that. WE SAW PAUL TWOHILL. YES, PAUL TWOHILL! OMG OMG OMG OMG x 100000000. HAHAHAHA. What happened was so melodramatic lah. I shall not say cause it'll remain as what WE know. Hahahaha. And yes, i got my picture with him! YAY! How cool is that? Very, i know. Right, back to KAP. This time, i reminded myself to order MCSPICY instead of ZINGER BURGER. Gosh. Then we had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun. Laughters filled the Macdonalds man LOL. After eating and crapping and laughing at my shit joke, we 67-ed home. And again, we crapped and laughed our way to Choa Chu Kang. Ok, we saw Qing Zhou on the bus.

Practically, i was just skate-boarding my way on the bus back to Choa Chu Kang lah huh. Skate-boarding ._. And i'm still high on Paul Twohill, hee hee hee hee heeeee! :D Yeah reached home around 7+ going to 8. Rushed through shower and prepared for Deal or No Deal: Hunks Special. Wooo, they're hot like anything. Especially my Mr Suitcase #1. HAHAHA. The minute he smile, i faint.

Yeah, so here i am. Shall upload pictures lah huh. Quite a long entry today cause someone's complaining about me not updating. Bahahaha so here it is :) Enjoy.

Twohill, i'm seeing you this coming Saturday. Wait for me! O:

2008-01-13T23:21:00.000+08:00

ZOMG! I'M DYING TO WATCH ONE MISSED CALL LAH. SMELLY GABE MAKES ME WANNA WATCH IT EVEN MORE, LIKE NOW. (and why am i typing in Caps? :x)

Well if there's no one who wanna watch it with me, i shall drag him to the cinema and watch it again. Bahahaha! So people, One Missed Call?

):

2008-01-13T17:48:00.000+08:00

12 MORE DAYS. SCREAMO!

I've been eating like a sow for the past few days. And yes, i feel fat now. 11th January: Went to Serangoon country club's Jumbo restaurant at night to celebrate Mum's (advance) and my (belated) birthday. Finally we had crabs. Yay! We got high on crabs after that. Blabbering non-stop on the journey back home. Crabs make our adrenaline rush like mad, i tells you. And so we yada yada yada all the way to the door step. 12th January: Headed to Junction 8 in the evening to buy some clothes before going to East Coast for food. Dad and mum ordered like a table full of food lah. I swear i ate like mad :P Pictures will be up very soon, i promise.

Today. The weather seemed rather good so Sarah and i decided to take a dip in the pool. And then AHA, this sexy plus hot plus good-looking Caucasian caught our attention. Bahaha! Moving on. So we swam like what, 7 laps? I can feel that my right knee cap went "click clack click clack"-ing whenever i swim. And THAT, scare the shit out of me. So i decided to sun tan instead (since the hot Caucasian was also sun tanning. and what's more? next to us!) The sun was like playing hide-and-seek with us. It appeared and disappeared and appeared and disappeared and appeared and disappeared. Gah, it was so frustrating! Then the entire sun was covered by this humongous piece of cloud. We gave up and went back home to shower.

I was cursing and swearing at the moment i stepped out of the toilet. Why? The goddamn sun was out again. Even more scorching. Oh well, the Caucasian left with us so i guess i've no reason to be angry huh. Maybe i'm fated to get into Track and Field to get my sexy tan. Bahahaha!

On a lighter note, sv's orientation had finally ended on the 11th of January! Yay! But i think he'll be equally tired cause i heard from others that lessons at JC are dreadfully tired as well. Gah, school's more important i understand. So, be stress sv! Perhaps, i'll hop by BTF and say hi and bye. HA HA.

Ok just got to know that Olevel result might be out on the 25th of January. Nerve-wracking? Absolutely yes! Omg. Till then, bless me!

12th January: Happy Birthday, Mum! Happy 17th Birthday, Yibin!

13th January: Happy 17th Birthday Jiahao, Sui Chuan and Sui Kim! Happy 18th Birthday Lee Ning!

Somwhere only we know.

2008-01-10T18:41:00.000+08:00

Okay just came back from Nanyang Poly. We all had the same mindset when we first stepped into Nanyang and that's to grab their goody bags. HAHAHAHA. Went looking around with Doreen, Ain, Px and Shahirah. I swear i was like a headless housefly, not knowing where to go. Then there was this guy who approached me when we were viewing at the Pharmaceutical Science booth.

Guy: Hello, are you interested in Pharmaceutical Science?

Me: Er yah. (actually i can't hear what he's talking cause you know, i'm deaf)

Guy: Oh okay, so what do you wanna know about the course?

Me: Errr.. errr... Nothing? You can ask this girl. (points to Px)

-Guy approached Px and Px showed me the WHAT-THE-HELL look-

The rest were HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh yes, and i think i'll love to join the Food Science course:) All you had to do is FOOD FOOD and FOOD. Woohoo, i love it :B (i shall not blog about the pepsi and coke thing, gah) So yeah, we explored the grounds. I saw my Primary Schoolmate, Ally who is now in IJ. Okay, we smiled hahaha. Then we saw TeckWhyeans omg! Everyone got so high. And i saw boss!! Yay lol. So we proceeded on our walking journey.. And we came across a girl who's wearing the same tee as me. HAHAHAHA! (funny things happened, shall not say) I swear that there were times where i stoned alone and my mind drifted off to somewhere i don't know lah o.o Damnit.

And so we met up with Hui Xiang, Shaherah, Pei Fen and Hidayah at Nanyang then after hi-ing, they left. Continued to walk and walk till we all got tired and decided to train back. Saw Dennis and Meiqi. OH PEOPLE, I SO WANNA WATCH ONE MISSED CALL! SOMEBODY, ANYBODY PLEASE. And yes, i stoned like a rock in the train again. Oh before that, we all got attacked by water. But i was the driest! :) Stoned stoned stoned and Yew Tee :D Went Macdonalds to buy something to munch on. The service there sucks to the core i tells you. And suddenly, my mind went blank when its my turn to order. Have you ever seen someone who went into Macdonalds but asked for a Zinger meal? Well, i did today. And that person was me.

Lady: May i have your order please?

Me: Er Zinger meal.

Lady: Sorry? (her face was damn stunned)

Me: -Laughs- Sorry, i'm in Macdonalds right? Er, McSpicy Meal. Sorry.

Lady: Haha okay. Having here?

Me: Ah.... -pause- .... -still pausing- yah yah, having here.

Lady smiled and nodded her head.

Damn, i swear i swear i swear i was hell embarrassed :X Omg i don't know what had gotten into me but i was so not myself today. After eating alone, i walked home with music blasting my ears. Oh oh and i saw this ACS guy, woohoo hot like anything :P Reached home and told mum all the things that had happened to me today. Super embarrassing like what the hell?! :/ Never mind, i believe that tomrrow will be a better day. HAHAHAHAHA. Hopefully.

Let's rewrite an ending that fits.

Till then, goodbye Thursday!

2008-01-08T23:57:00.000+08:00

all, over again.

I don't know if i should make an effort, because you don't seem to too. But i really do want our friendship back.

Now, how do i put this across to you?

"It is hard not to think of a sigh".

I keep thinking, and complaining that my life is so abject and that i should just crawl up and sleep my life away.

But then i realise i have absolutely no reason to be all moody and sulky and whiny when there are things around me that has actually always been there just that i never bothered to notice.

This week is getting better. I g u e s s. No, it has to be.

2008-01-08T13:17:00.000+08:00

I'm slowly beginning to lose my sense of identity. Gah, maybe i'm wishing upon an unrealistic dream/hope.

I've been having a lot of sleepless nights lately. Don't ask why cause it'll lead you to nowhere. Ohoh and everyone should listen to Lovedrug because they're so good (: Slept at 2+ last night, listening to all the music in my phone and skipping every track he sent. No underline meaning. Just skipped the tracks. Woke up to Mum's and sister's yelling. Jq texted me at 0655hrs just to say, "Hey just wanna say that Canoeing is good. Haha." Texted him till it was time for his assembly and bye, back to sleep again.

Anw i'm disgusted by someone's message. And yes, it destroyed my hope-to-be beautiful day. Lousy start, lousy end. So i shall be grumpy for the rest of the day since nothing's going my way.

And i can also predict that today is just another boring day. Thanks to PAE, i miss all my friends.

Would you believe me if i told you

That i'm surfacing for just one thieving moment

To steal your heart

2008-01-07T00:16:00.000+08:00

This is probably one of the coolest MSN conversations ever.

zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
me me zoe
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
makes me wanna eat maggi mee.
Kong you you jiaq me me zoe we rhyme and rock haha says:
haha
Kong you you jiaq me me zoe we rhyme and rock haha says:
you you jiaq sounds like qoo?
Kong you you jiaq me me zoe we rhyme and rock haha says:
haha
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
me me zoe. makes me wanna eat mee. you you jq. makes me wanna drink qoo?
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
HAHAHAHAHA
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
new song new song
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
lol
Kong you you jiaq me me zoe we rhyme and rock haha says:
haha
Kong you you jiaq me me zoe we rhyme and rock haha says:
at the rate wew have a whole song by tmr
Kong you you jiaq me me zoe we rhyme and rock haha says:
we*
Kong you you jiaq me me zoe we rhyme and rock haha says:
haha
Kong you you jiaq makes me wanna drink qoo me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee XD says:
or DQ
Kong you you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee XD says:
haha
Kong you you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee XD says:
totally rhymes
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
what's Dq?
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
hahahaha
Kong you you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee XD says:
dairy queen
Kong you you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee XD says:
haha
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
OH. lol
Kong you you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee XD says:
so whats the next line?
Kong you you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee XD says:
haha
Kong you you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee XD says:
lets add joel
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
LOL
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
hmmm
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
well well joel, makes me go LOL?
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
o.o thats DANG!
Kong you you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee joel joel taco bell haha says:
haha
Kong you you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee joel joel taco bell haha says:
I just added
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
TACO BELL?!
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
hahahahahaha
Kong you you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee joel joel taco bell haha says:
joel joel tacobell
Kong you you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee joel joel taco bell haha says:
haha
Kong you you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee joel joel taco bell haha says:
lol

----------------------------------------------

Kong you you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee wel well joel taco bell haha says:
er
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
drink mee bell
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
like, "drink me! Bel."
Kong you you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee wel well joel taco bell haha says:
haha
Kong you you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee wel well joel taco bell haha says:
we add bel?
Kong you you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee wel well joel taco bell haha says:
I running out of space on my nick
Kong you you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee wel well joel taco bell haha says:
haha
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAH
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
read my pm
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
PRECISELY
Kong you you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee wel well joel taco bell haha says:
lol
Kong you you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee wel well joel taco bell haha says:
haha
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
you you jq makes me wanna drink DQ. me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee. well well joel joel tacobell. BELL, DRINK MEE! hahahahahahaha
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
it doesn't go well.. RAHHHHHH
You you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee wel well joel taco bell haha says:
haha
You you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee wel well joel taco bell haha says:
hmmm

------------------------------------------------

zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
You you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee wel well joel taco bell yiqi yiqi like vitamin c? haha says:
haha
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
BAHAHAHAHAHA OMG OMG OMG.
You you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee wel well joel taco bell yiqi yiqi like vitamin c? haha says:
lol
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
why issit all like food-related?
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
lol we're hungry people.
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
LOL
You you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee well well joel taco bell yiqi yiqi like vitamin c? haha says:
haha
You you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee well well joel taco bell yiqi yiqi like vitamin c? haha says:
hungry
You you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee well well joel taco bell yiqi yiqi like vitamin c? haha says:
haha
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
You you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee well well joel h8s taco bell yiqi yiqi like vitamin c? says:
my friend say 4 today 4 tmr
You you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee well well joel h8s taco bell yiqi yiqi like vitamin c? says:
so guess I'll be rhyming till march
You you jiaq makes me wanna drink DQ me me zoe makes me wanna eat mee well well joel h8s taco bell yiqi yiqi like vitamin c? says:
haha
zoe. you you jq. QQ says:
LOL

----------------------------------------------

Seriously.

2008-01-06T20:47:00.000+08:00

Slept at 2+ last night. Woke up at 10+ this morning. Ate Prawn Mee for breakfast which dad bought from somewhere near Queenstown. Reminded me of the Nanyang days. Helped mum do some work. Taught Ryan English and Mathematics. Dad cooked Laksa for Lunch. Ate lunch. Slack. Watched High School Musical 2 (sister rented yesterday) Got high on Lucas, Corbin, Efron and Ashley. Wished i was one of them. Day dreamt. Used computer. Walked around the entire house. Zhaogayjing called and disrupted my beautiful shower. Showered. Felt like sleeping. Stone-d like a rock. Had dinner. Watched GABS on channel 5. Laughed till stomachache. Used computer. And here i am.

Limin, i've texted you since last night and you have yet replied me. I tells you, i'm very not happy ah ): HAHAHA. So, you better reply me like, now? If not, you'll play badminton yourself (: And just to add on, i miss you very much. P.S: That's one of the reasons why you should reply me now so i can accompany you for badminton. YAY!

Changed the playlist. Acceptance - Different. Er, i kind of listened to lots of songs these days and i've got no idea why LOL. Songs from Faber Drive, Saosin, Three Days Grace, Acceptance, Anberlin, Paramore and etc etc. Maybe influenced by sv. Maybe not. Maybe. Maybe not.

Today is the last day of the first week. Today is the first Sunday of 2008. Today is a day after my birthday. Today is nice. Quiet and peaceful. I like.

Till then, hello Monday! (:

2008-01-05T15:52:00.000+08:00

My birthday wish?
I wanna have a Korean boyfriend ah!
Kang Yoon Sung, I LOVE YOU SEXY!

I swear i'm the happiest kid on Earth! (:

And i've officially turned 17! The funny thing is that i can't wait till i'm 18 omg! All of a sudden, i don't mind turning older or whatsoever, pretty weird but yah. I've spent the eve of my birthday to the fullest, with friends and teachers (more like friends now) around me. Went Jurong Point with mum in the afternoon to shop. She wanna get something for me but i just can't make up my mind so we'll put all that on hold (: So we ate Anderson ice cream followed by Mos Burger. I can't believe that i've so much to tell mum. We're more like best friend hahaha! So we waited for dad to pick us up at around 4+ then he dropped me off at TW while i waited for Shahirah at the bus stop. Then it started to rain heavily -.- I'm super crazy on rainy days (nudge Shahirah)

Reached TW and all the freshmen were like looking at us. Hoho, we felt like celebrities LOL. Iza dear hugged and wished me Happy Advance Birthday, so did Iskandar. Saw Mrs Teo and she wished me Happy Birthday (thanks to Shahirah) After much roaming around, we settled down in the canteen and i started on my PSP addict. Btw, i really must thank Shahirah a lot (: Your PSP rock my underpants! Slacked around with Aloy, Herr Song, Jia Xuan, Iza, Shahirah and other councillors. Helped in the drinks stuff then back to PSP again LOL. Then we rotted till 8+ before going to PJC to pick Px and Ain up. Hui Xiang, Shahirah and i had hell lots of fun while waiting and yes, it was super dark -.- Saw KengSquare and Doreen. OMG, Ain went so high (i think she could have reached the sky) when she saw us lol. Went back to TW to slack. I continued on my PSP journey again. After that we went to the hall and watched the freshmen played the night games.

Mum called at 10+ and said that i've to go home. They came and picked me up. Luckily i didn't stay any longer cause they wanted to have a birthday bash for me, with flour! o.o But i really appreciate it a lot guys (: Maybe next year HAHAHA. Went home and showered. The minute i opened the toilet door, everyone started singing Birthday song. That minute, was unbelievable! I felt so so so touched lah omg. I've such wonderful family and friends. Ah, i so wanted to cry (nudge Shahirah again) Went online for awhile then off-ed. Chatted a little with Mr Ong and we had haha session. After that i messaged Shahirah to 2+ before i KO-ed first :/

BEST PART: Sv called to countdown my birthday and we talked halfway till i had another incoming call from Thailand. Meta called me twice. First when i was still in school around 9+ then second when i'm at home. Thank you Meta, am really touched. Then Girlfriend called and sang me a Birthday song. OMG, i was jumping around the house like nuts! Followed by Jiayu jiejie who said "Happy Birthday" seventeen times! And those who have sent your warmest regards through text-ing (Andrew, Andrea, Kaifeng, Shahirah, Zhiwei, Px, Lee Yen (Primary School friend), Hui Xiang, Ain, Grace, Mr.Cheok, Limin, Shuyi lovelove, ZhaoGayJing, LinLing (used-to-be tuition teacher), Zisheng, Ching Rong, Limei and Weiliang) Not forgetting those who have tagged (the usuals plus Jessica and Wei Hao) THANK YOU VERY MUCH! :D

There were already so much fun on the eve of my birthday (:

Had Dim Sum with Mum and Dad at Victor's Kitchen this morning/afternoon. Then went to buy phone, W910i. Yay, i finally have the same phone as Wang Lee Hom! :D Going out later so i'll stop now. Till then, Happy Birthday to Khartik, Shuwei and me!

January the 3rd: Happy 19th Birthday, Ian Ong.
January the 4th: Happy 17th Birthday, Lee Yen.

I feel blessed as always. I love my family, and friends.

2008-01-02T11:54:00.000+08:00

People say that its a new year, a new beginning. And i've learnt, that there would be no ending if there wasn't a start. There wouldn't be a start if there wasn't a beginning.

Beginning, start, end.

No beginning = No start = No end.

Okay, enough of all my nonsense. Everyone's going back to school today including sv but me? Left at home, wasting my time away. Maybe i should really consider going to PAE then. Maybe i wouldn't be so bored at home now. Maybe i should stop thinking of enrolling into a "branded" school, its rather unrealistic huh. Ah, so much for my moment of folly ):

As much as i want the days to pass by quickly, i'm afraid of getting the results at the end of the month. Quite contradicting yeah? Well, humans are indecisive creatures. I think i would rather spend my CNY at home this year instead of doing visiting and collecting red packets. Am afraid of relatives asking, "Hey, how have you fare for Olevel?" or "How many pts did you achieve?" or "Are you going to JC or Poly?" Holy cow, why are relatives such busybody people? OMG. Sometimes i just wish that i'm half as smart as the people in those top-notch schools.

I hate moping around, yet i can't stop ): Maybe i really do have to wait till the results are out before making any decision. The anticipation is killing me!

3 more days and the happy moments will be gone. Its an unexplainable emotion.

P.S. I'm not emo.

I'm going to miss my class like hell. We'll all probably drift apart, but we're gonna make sure we try to meet up often enough that we slow down this terrible and painful process! Once in a year or whatever, just to meet up and do some catch up (ketchup for Girlfriend) with one another.

"Maybe Poly will be as equally good as jc. Hmmm.." AH! My mind is multi-tasking right now, can't even focus on one thing at all. Its gonna sound crazy but i'm going back to bed again though i just woke up like an hour ago.

What is a new year? Just a day after the old one. A very human concept of change. Feels no different. Just like education is how we attempt to sort out the world, calendars are the one sorting out of time. I'm not criticizing it, but I just feel that 2008 will be no different than 2007, except in the mind. Placebo.

Goodbye world.

2007-12-31T18:09:00.000+08:00

As promised, i woke up at 9am today. Had breakfast and got ready to meet Limin and Ain at TW. Okay, when was the last time i stepped into that school hmmm. Put the books in the storeroom and we went around looking for teachers. I swear that we had so much to say. Met up with Mdm Pua, Mrs Foo, Ms Ong, Mr Cheok, Mdm Mary, Mrs Teo and and and MR ONG! :) OMG, it was so cool to talk with him lah. Smiles were like drawn on his face all the time and i swear, he's hell cuteeee! And yes Mr Ong, i'll look of a job in Levis so as to give you discount yah :D

We left school at around 12plus before heading to Westmall. Made a special visit to Grace, my lovely Girlfriend. Passed her the Christmas present and chit-chatted a little. Ohboy, you've no idea how i miss her! Had lunch at BK. We were reminiscing and eating at the same time. Awww those days ): As i've said in the previous previous post, if it were up to me, 2007 would be rewinded and replayed over and over again. Its definitely the most eventful year for me so far. Well, i've to thank my mum for stopping me to go to CHIJ S.T.C then if not i wouldn't have met this bunch of lovely friends. Results of Olevel is drawing nearer and the thought of it just makes me feel nauseous ): The more i think about my English Composition, the more i think i wrote out of point. As for Geography, i know that its already hopeless cause my answers were like.. crap! I do hope that Ian's dream really come true cause he dreamt that i've got 13pts for Olevel. God bless.

Believe me, i've wrecked almost every brain cell in me, thinking of every possibility which would work out for me. And it pains me to be so far apart from all my dearest friends. Let's put it this way, i've always wanted to be part of the AC family (i've got no idea why but yah) Now, thinking about my Olevel results, i doubt i would be able to even smell the ACJC air lah huh. So its either i go to ACS (International) or some anonymous JC, which i'm so reluctant to (like my result will be good enough to be there -.-) On the other hand, International school fee is o.o expensive and my dad was like, "Don't ever think about that school unless you really have no other choice." Sigh, so i'll pray for Ian's dream to come true so at least i can like go to CJ or something. Worst come to worst, Polytechnic? ):

Now, i really regret not mugging my ass off like other RI/RGS people for Olevel. But yeah, nothing can be done now. Mr Ong's "I TOLD YOU SO." I just hope that miracle would happen this time, for once. 13pts, i don't ask for more.

Everyone kept asking if i've done my new year resolutions. The fact is that, i have not. HAHAHA. Why not take a look at the resolutions i've made in 2006 for the year of 2007? Good? Good.

2007's New Year Resolutions:
1. To pass O Level with flying colours; L1R5: <15

2. To get all As for monthly tests. (No, none i think :X)

3. Master the skill of Physics& Biology. (Maybe only Biology.)

4. Be a good girl. (I hope i am)

5. Learn to be independent. (Um, i guess i'm a little independent now. Right?)

6. Sleep early! HAHA. (Never. LOL)
7. Don't grumble about my tuition/homework. (Maybe at the beginning of the year ah :/)
8. Must really study hard. (Hmmmm..)
9. Be happy always. (50-50?)
10. A nice, happy, fun& enjoyable 16th birthday. (Definitely)
11. Friends to stay united& good health. (Yeah, very much so.)
12. Stop messaging so much :P (HAHA)
13. To get into ACJC/SAJC. (I'm praying very hard.)
14. WORLD PEACE :DD (Dang!)

Its always like this. My New Year Resolution is always unfulfilled. HAHAHA. Maybe i should like list out something more realistic huh :)

2008's New Year Resolution:

1. L1R5 <13

2. Be a more hardworking girl.

3. Darwinians to be united and gathered at least once a year.

4. A Happier life.

5. To live the moment thoughout 2008.

6. Be as brainy as RJC's people (its definitely impossible)

7. Be more realistic and stop dreaming.

8. LOSE WEIGHT.

9. Learn music with sv :)

10. Everyone to be happy!

Yeah, more realistic? I hope so. May 2008 pass by smoothly and peacefully. -reluctantly move into 2008- Till then, partyyyyy! :)

You had me at Hello.

2007-12-30T20:58:00.000+08:00

You had me at Hello.

I miss sv ): though i've just seen him like 3 days back and chatting with everyday. But i still miss him. Suddenly i'm so sick of Pirates and hell addicted to PSP, omg! Shahirah, its all your fault. LOL! Counting down at VivoCity tomorrow, Farewell party for Chloe tomorrow as well. So you tell me, how to make a decision? Maybe like what sv said, "Split yourself into two." Hahaha. I'm so afraid of letting Boss down and disappointed again lah ): Hmm, i'll think of something ay. Soon.

Six more days to Big day. Somehow i got this feeling that next year's birthday will be different. Theme? Lonely. Hahaha. Or maybe i'll spend the Big day in TW with the freshmen and Councillors and teachers and blah. Celebrating with sv beforehand :) Aiya, i forsee that its gonna be another bitter-sweet seventeen.

Yay, sv just said that he might be going to VivoCity tomorow with his friends. Okay that just give another Pro for me to go to VivoCity, hahaha. But its gonna take 2hours of transport to and fro there eh ): Unless Boss, you provide transport ah. HAHAHA. And yes, i need to get rid of all the gifts as soon as possible! OMG.

I think i need to end the night. Back to sv :)

You gave me butterflies at the mailbox, you had me at hello.

BTW HAPPY SEVENTEENTH BIRTHDAY, AH GONG (ZISHENG)!

2007-12-29T18:11:00.000+08:00

This Christmas, it seems, feels almost exactly the same as last Christmas. Except for a significant, yet minute difference. Last year, around this time, i was hovering above hopelessness, on the slight ascension. This year though, i am, once again, hovering above hopelessness, but this time, on the decension.

No doubt, this year had brought me new highs, and new lows to my life. Stocks rose to giddy heights and when contributers to these stocks realised that the instable market was growing more volatile, they started panick selling, and now, the stocks have sunk into a great depression. Metaphor to my emotions and feelings and other mind-ful whatnot i possess.

Its quite fun, actually, sitting down at the end of a year, pondering upon the past 360+ day's events, looking at yourself mature, transmogrify and metamorphasize to what we are at this time. Who we are.

Four years ago, having the rush thought of leaving TW may be one of the common things among us. Four years later, now, having to leave TW puts me in a rather difficult position. I walked into the school four years ago, hating it, thinking what am i doing here. Lets just put it this way. I've never heard of TW in my entire life until Sec1 and i detest the reality that i've been placed under the care of the teachers in TW. However, i've many fond memories in that school which i loathe in the first place. The first guy whom i set my eyes on, the guy's heart which i had broke, the mask i had to wear everyday, the teachers who believed in me and the ones whom i had let down, the tears i had shed in class or anywhere, the strains in friendships.. Relationships, friendships, teachers, studies, school, happiness, sadness; i had them all in the past four long years.

All in all, i do NOT want the year 2007 to end. With so many things i'd live to hate myself for, i want to set things straight, but i know, its impossible. If it were up to me, 2007 would be rewinded and replayed over and over again.

In conclusion, this year has been the most eventful year for me so far. My bitter-sweet sixteen. I'd reluctantly step into 2008, my heart would be heavy and my mind constantly whirling. Its quite hypocritical i've always told myself to "live for the moment". Now the moment is gone, there seems to be nothing to live for. Emo as that sounds, i'm alright. I've found things to fill up the voids in my life, music for example, has been the best outlet so far.

Till then, 2007, goodbye. May the ghosts of 2007 always serve as a reminder to how much of the "battle's lost and won".

The hurly-burly's done.

PS: 15th of November 2007 will always be the best day of my life. January 27th, 2007, 11.30pm-01.30am, the best 3hours. It will never be the same again.

2007-12-28T21:04:00.000+08:00

I likeeeee Aladdin ;)

Trained to Causeway Point today to meet up with Limin, Shahirah and Px. Ain joined us after movie. Well, Shahirah you owe me the Macdonalds meal cause i arrived earlier than you though i was late :/ HAHAHA. Went Banquet for lunch. Spent $4.20 on a plate of bloody chicken rice! So i decided not to order drinks LOL. After eating, we sat there and chatted till Px arrived. And i kept humming or rather singing Saosin's You're Not Alone to Shahirah. HAHAHAHA.

Went to buy tix for I Am Legend. Spent our 2hours plus roaming around the shopping mall. Chewed my pearls along the way (we bought bubble tea :D) Head to arcade and played the stupid motorcycle. I swear its the silliest thing i've ever done in my entire life ay. Then we decided to play Hide and Seek in Metro (Px's and Limin's idea cause they ditched us halfway to hide) Then yada yada.. Shahirah and Limin left me with Px -.- I felt so insecure cause Px can't protect me. Hee hee, i was just kidding. PS: Although Px works at Causeway's Metro, she doesn't know where's Uncle Tibits. LOL.

We were late for movie :X The poster of One Missed Call greeted us when we entered lah! OMG, i screamed my guts out and Px's still scaring me! ): Someone kope-d our seats so we went to the front third row -.- It was a mistake to watch I Am Legend in the first place. All the stupid ugly disgusting fat creatures jumping out of nowhere and making those sickening sound. OMG lah! But that film was touching, at one point. And yeah, i "enjoyed" screaming and shouting till my limbs went weak. I Am Legend, 3 out of 5 stars.

After movie, Px left and we went to Long John Silver to slack while waiting for Ain. Played Shahirah's PSP while the rest chatted. Sorry ah but that game just kept me addicted. Hee. Went home at around 6plus. Laughed like mad in the train with Ain and Shahirah. Was messaging XiaoMei and Limin while walking home. Reached home and here i am.

Yeah, Limin i like the gift and i hope you like yours too :) When will be the next time we gather like today again? Hmmmm, nowhere near ): But do keep in contact and Ain, i'll pray for your computer to arrive on my birthday rather than on 9th! HAHAHAHA. Talking about birthday, Shahirah made me feel old for the entire day ): LOL. Alright, i wanna play Pirates (again!) So till then, goodbye world.

Tell me what's happening? Cause i'm confused.

2007-12-27T21:03:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 9plus due to sister. Went online and discussed about the outing later. And Sha, i'm not dating -.- Haha. Showered and went off to meet sv at Funan. We had a "fun" time searching for one another lol. Can't decide on what to have for lunch so we ended up at the Food Court. As usual, ordered my cutlet while he had Korean cuisine. Didn't know he had the same preference of food as me :) After eating, we spent some time there as he taught me how to solve rubik's. Cause he had a hard time explaining online to this noob (me) LOL. I was totally amazed at the speed he went man though jiahao was faster but, sv is equally powerful man!

After a few rounds of rubik's, we went in circles searching for his backphones. Had so much fun on the escalator lol. Finally decided on THAT backphone :) Hmmm, was thinking of getting him Crysis or WETHEKINGS (if he hasn't get it, that's it) for his birthday next year. Ohwell, let's see if i'm feeling rich then ay. HAHAHA. He gave me my present while i gave him his. And he kept asking me to open it -.-

Train-ed to Orchard's Lido to catch National Treasure: Book of secrets. Woohoo, that film is brilliant i must say though i hate Nicolas Cage to the max. LOL. Sv bought combo 1 while i bought green tea. Yes, its green tea for Zoe in like 12345678910 donkey years. God knows why huh. Went into the hall and they were playing the chipmunks songs. Sv was like -.- HAHAHAHA! Then we talked till the movie starts. Again, he asked me to open the present. So i opened it and he LOL me lah. (details not gonna be exposed) Anyways, National Treasure is worth watching! (Zoe says so)

Sv walked me to the MRT before bus-ing home. To sum it up, i so like today! Reached home at around 8plus and here i am :) God, i'm so tired. Meeting Limin and friends tomorrow, hmmm. Limin, you better treat me if not i'm going to starve! Don't care. HAHAHA. Okay folks, till then goodbye!

I kept smelling his cologne now, as though he's just beside. OMG! :X

2007-12-26T20:28:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BOXING DAY, FOLKS!

Brought the shopping day with sv to tomorrow since i'm rather lazy to get my ass out today. Woke up at 9plus and started watching cartoons to around noon. Cooked Korean maggi for lunch, yum! :) Met Hakim at Yewtee mrt to pass him his stuffs. Had been stuck on the computer for the entire afternoon before i decide to hit Lot1 with Sarah.

Went popular to buy cards and blah. The cashier there sucks lah. Because of some stupid thing, i had to go back to the end of the queue when i'm suppose to be the next person to pay. I was swearing like nobody's business. Bumped into Sabri there (maybe he saw my not-so-happy face) :X Head to the other cd shops to try my luck for WETHEKINGS, but still to no valid. Fuck lah, they don't even sell Faber Drive. OMG. Bought Old Chang Kee back before train-ing back home. Then, saw Leonard. HAHAHA.

Reached home and started doing the x'mas present for sv. I think it looks like crap ah. Will upload the pix some other day cause there's no bluetooth in this bloody computer. Well, i'm quite surprise at my own art lol. I mean, i didn't know i can draw or rather imitate so well. HAHAHA. Had been listening to Huang Zhenyi's OST for the entire day too. Holy, i'm so into that show lah. Its a sad story ): And and and, Sec1 Orientation Camp is on 4th and 5th January (AGAIN?!) Sigh, i'm still thinking if i'm gonna go or what. Have been celebrating my past 4 years of birthday in school lah ):

I'm currently drawn to Dorothy Koomson's "My Best Friend's Girl". I'm bidding chapter 3 away and welcoming chapter 4 with open arms :D Woohoo, books addiction again. PS: XiaoMei, you have yet gimme "For One More Day" eh, my sister's screaming at the top of her lungs :/

Yeah, i'm dead nervous about tomorrow! I think i'll just go with whatever that happens lah. HAHAHA. Maybe meeting Primary School friends for dinner as well. Oh oh oh, so many of catching up to do. Yay! Okay i need to um, take a break from all this. So till then, goodbye world! :)

I'm so cool i shit ice cubes.

2007-12-25T17:41:00.000+08:00

MERRY X'MAS FOLKS! :)

I'm still suffering from insomnia. OMG! Last night was definitely the craziest night ever. I'll wait till dad uploads the pictures then i'll blog about it. So let's begin with yesterday, shall we?

Met up with Hakim at 1pm. Ain couldn't join us ): Both of us bus-ed to Peninsula. Went to search for the thing i wanna buy for sv. But almost all the shops there don't sell THAT brand. Anyways, i must thank Hakim for being the bravest fella ah (nudge) So feeling despaired, we bus-ed to Hereen to search for another item. And ahhh, it was sold out! ): I felt so much anger in me then, i tell you. Empty-handed, we walked to Taka for Seoul Garden. Made a special visit to XiaoMei, hahahahaha! After that we proceeded to Seoul Garden -.- We arrived late for the Student Plan so we decided to go to Park Hotel's Swensens. Met Soh Eng there as she was working as a waitress. All of us gave the surprised look to each other, hahaha. We ate a bomb -.- So in the end, i spent on nothing but food. Well, as expected lah huh :D And Hakim, i'm sorry for messaging the entire day. LOL!

Mum messaged and said that we've to be back for dinner. I was totally turned off, wth. Messaged sister and asked where she was. Meet her at Orchard MRT before heading home together. Asked Hakim to give out the candycanes since i couldn't make it for the gathering. BTW, sorry ah boss ):

Went home and there was a sumptuous meal waiting for us. Credits to mum and dad. Frankly speaking, i was absolutely bloated to the max last night. Spaghetti and wine are the perfect match i would say. Christmas eve was love.

Class gathering on thursday is cancelled ): There goes another skating day lol. Ohwell, there better be stocks for the thing i want tomorrow. Or i'll just shout my lungs out o.o *prays* Alright people till then, goodbye!

Screwing up the best thing ever, is something you'll regret forever.

2007-12-25T17:40:00.000+08:00

I'm just using a new love

to cover the pain

which was left behind by my previous love.

I keep bleeding love.

2007-12-23T18:22:00.000+08:00

Continued watching 1 Litre of Tears this morning. I stopped at Episode 8 then so, i decided to watch till the end today. I know i may seem outdated cause 1 Litres of Tears had been out for quite some time. But seriously, its better late than never. That film really taught me a lot of things and it also allows me to find the purpose in life. It enlightens me in every way, i must say. And indeed, i shed 1 litre of tears while watching it. Now, i felt as though i'm a brand new human being. I'm gonna live on, to the fullest and find my purpose in life. Live on happily, healthily and fully.

Finally reached lvl 100 for Pirates. Credits to sv as he had spent days and nights just to reach lvl 100 for me. Hahaha, appreciate it a lot yo :) This year's x'mas is gonna be the best, i think. A few more weeks and the results will be out. I would be lying if i say that i'm not anxious or nervous. Somehow i feel that i didn't give my best shot but what's done has already been done. So, be it i'll be going to a jc or a poly; i'll pick up from where i had left and make it even better. That's what i've learnt from Aya in 1 Litre of Tears.

Tomorrow's x'mas eve, somehow time seems to pass by very quickly. I can't believe that i'm gonna be 17 in just a few odd days. I guess i've got to catch up with the speed of time huh. Oh, not forgetting its Weiliang's birthday today. Happy Eighteenth Birthday, fat! :) Oh well, i guess i'll start roaming around at home now.

/edit. Went to AMK Hub with dad just now. Shopped for tomorrow night's dinner ingredients. Woohoo, dad's gonna whip out some of his delicious dishes again! I'm so loving it. Bought some wine and chips to go along for tomorrow's party, yay! Oh, and dad fulfilled one of my x'mas wants. Bought my pair of black Converse shoes too. Ohohoh, i love my dad! :) Yup, i'm so looking forward to tomorrow as well. X'mas season, i love!

보고 싶다

2007-12-22T18:31:00.000+08:00

3 MORE DAYS TO X'MAS, YAY! :D

I'm so into the festive mood already! OMG! Msn-ed sv till late at night yesterday. We were watching Survivor: China, msn-ing and praying for Amanda to win at the same time. However Todd won the million dollar bucks -.- Todd's gayyyyy and James is the sexy man of the week. Aha! Sv and i reminisced the days when we were much younger, lol. Okay, i feel so old right now :/

No work today. So i guess, i'll spent my day walking around the house today :) The sun's so scorching today! I so want tanning session. Comeon, let's go Sentosa again! Anyone? Hee hee. There's so many places where i want to go lah, omg.

For those thinking of what to get for me for x'mas, (I'M USING REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY TO MAKE YOU THINK OH SHIT I DIDN'T THINK OF BUYING ANYTHING FOR ZOE) here's my shopping list. Let's see..

1) A pair of black Converse shoes would be nice!

2) How about another black Haivannas? Yes.

3) A new wallet to keep my ka-ching ka-ching :D

4) Levis straight cut jeans.

5) Get many many printed tees as possible.

6) GRAB MONEY!! ^^

7) Nike bag, oooo.

8) New watches are always welcomed.

9) Marry Santa Claus, oh yes :]

10) If all the above mentioned will come true.

HA, i'm not a greedy girl. Just 10 wants will do ;) And i finally found someone to accomany me to Peninsula. Thank ah Hakim, loves! Hrm, i'm still rotting and lazing around. Don't wanna go out today cause i've been spending a lot this week ): Need to work badly but i don't have the mood to. Its so what the hell lah, tremendous torture ay. How i hope that money can just fall from the sky and everyone will be rich rich rich! Hahahaha.

Today's my sweet, Samantha's sixteenth birthday. Happy birthday! Then tomorrow is Weiliang's birthday and the following day will be Sean's. Luckily i need not buy presents, if not i think my pocket will poof eh. Hahahahaha! Was thinking of switching to WordPress instead of staying at Blogger. Hrm.. we'll see about that ay, but Livejournal would definitely be stroke out from the list as my stupid computer can't read things from there. Oh well. Uh, i think i'll play Pirates now. Need to reach lvl 100 by x'mas. Muahuahua! So till then, goodbye! :)

They'll tear us apart if you give them the chance.

2007-12-21T22:04:00.000+08:00

The Warlords is a must-see film!

Met Ain at 1145 today before heading to The Cathay for The Warlords. Hakim joined us as well. We crapped all the wayyyy to Dhoby Ghaut. Went to buy tix and roamed around. They shopped Gramophone while i searched for WE THE KINGS's album. Intended to get it for sv and surprise him on xmas but what luck, they don't sell their album ):

Bought junkies before proceeding into the hall. Warlords is frigging nice! I would recommend everyone to watch it. Its definitely a two thumbs up film! Btw Warlords is Ain's first NC16 movie and i feel so honoured to watch it with her. Andy Lau is always so sexyyyy and Takeshi Kaneshiro is forever so hotttttt. Oh, they're my ever best boyfriends! Hahaha. "大哥是对的!" (nudge Ain and Hakim) After the film, we went to Plaza Singapura. Searched for Hakim's stuff but to no valid lah huh. Decided to head home after walking in circles lol.

Bumped into sv outside. He scared the shit out of me lah! Hahaha, but i'm super happy to see him :) -fly to the seventh heaven- And for the rest of the day, i had smile on my face. Lol. Kind of exaggerating but true. Train-ed back home with Ain while Hakim alighted at Ang Mo Kio for work. And again, Ain and i blah-ed on the train all the wayyyy to Yewtee.

Messaged sv till i reached home :)

Didn't eat much for dinner today cause we're having popiah. Like what the hell lah, of all days -.- Hahaha, but i like them. And i love today to the fullest.

Warlords is love! Andy and Takeshi are love! Ain and Hakim are love! Sv is super love! :D

Hrm i'm heading to Peninsular someday to get something. Anyone wanna join me? LOL. And one reason why i love sv so much cause he never fails to remind me stuffs. He's like my daily walking live diary :)

My tummy is upset, make it happy! :X

2007-12-20T16:07:00.000+08:00

Okay, this week has been a rather fast one. And i do not have the time to play Pirates ): Well, let's continue from where i stopped :]

15 December (Saturday) - Went to work. Attended Ain's brother, Syhair's birthday party cum bbq cum steamboat at night. Played Shahirah's psp while the rest were chit chatting. Sorry ah, was kind of withdrawn. HAHAHAHA. Went home with the Yewtee group and reached home at 12plus going to 1am.

16 December (Sunday) - Visited grandpa (father side) at Marina Square. I was totally rotting there. Kept looking at people around me and thinking of random stuffs. Then i forgot what happened.

17 December (Monday) - Went to AMK Hub with mum. Bought a yellow heel while sister bought a red one. Then we head to this shop which sells Korean goods. We're so into Korean's stuff these days. Met up with dad at night and dine-d. In a sentence, we had a food marathon there.

18 December (Tuesday) - Had Primary School gathering at East Coast in the evening. Met Sophia at Clementi and train-ed to Bedok to meet Belinda, Chloe and Jiahao. Then we went to Tampanies shopping mall to buy wire mesh before heading to ECP. We had a longgggg walk, i tell you. BBQ was successful. (mostly, the guys hard work. um the girls just sit there and be pretty that's all.) HAHAHA! And seriously, our class is so bonded since 2003. We practically can read each other's mind xD

Went cycling at around 9plus. Luckily, there're people to join my don't-know-how-to-cycle group. Hee hee. Double-d bike with Jiahao while Chloe double-d bike with Joel and Aran double-d bike with Jon Chia. And so, we went for our cycling quest. Cycling with Jiahao was fun and exciting yet dangerous. HAHAHA! Changed with Chloe after awhile. Joel was much more steadier. But that Jiahao kept bumping to into us and tried to poke my sides which made me go, "Ahhhhhhh, mummyyyyyy!" Then he'll laugh till he rolls. Returned the bikes at 10plus then strolled back to our pit. Did lots of catching up. The poker game part was the most hilarious part. Hee hee! Overall, BBQ was fun. More to come next time :D

19 December (Wednesday) - Went to Sentosa with Sophia at 10am for job interview. The rest were still zzz at ECP. HAHAHA. We had free tour around Sentosa ah (nudge Sophia) Made 2 new friends there too :] Somehow, working at Sentosa seemed fun. Maybe i'll consider ah.

Then met up with Ain, Hakim and Limei at Imbiah station since i was at Sentosa already. Played Luge and skyride together. Woohoo! Double the fun. Then we went to Siloso beach to play with sand. HAHAHA. After that we tram to 7-11, bought some food and slack outside before going to VivoCity. Lunch-ed LJS. Walked around and saw Sin Han working at Toy 'R' Us. HAHAHA! Messaged him :) Walked till tired already, we train-ed to Somersat, Cineleisure. Walked around and bought something. Played aracade for awhile and went home by 190.

Limei and i came across this guy who looked so cute when zzz ah :X HAHAHA. My legs were screaming for seats. Stood all the way till Teckwhye before there's seat. OMG. Reached home around 7plus and zzz.

-------------------------------------------------------------

I was dead beat lah. No idea why, maybe i exhaust too much energy already. Always enjoying to the fullest ah. I felt recharged today since i slept till 12plus today. Hee hee. Alright, i've to catch up in Pirates already though jj helped me lvl up a lot when i'm not playing. HAHA, loves.

And to all muslims, Happy Hari Raya Haji!

I'm on cloud nine and beyonddddd to see sv.

2007-12-20T16:00:00.000+08:00

15 December (Saturday)

18 December (Tuesday)

19 December (Wednesday)

2007-12-14T22:01:00.000+08:00

On cloud nine and beyonddddd.
The last time i felt like this? Maybe 3 years ago.

But whatever it is, i'll enjoy this moment to the fullest.

I love my secret valentine :)

You know what? I'm so lazy to upload any pictures taken lah. Maybe someday i'll make it into an album or something and post them up for everyone ay. But right now, i'm totally addicted to Pirates :) Have been playing Pirates with jj since i don't know when. I can like sit in front of the computer and play Pirates till the cows come home. And thanks to jj, i'm able to lvl up so fast. He played for me when i'm zzz. HAHAHA! This game kind of bond both of us together. AHAHA! Everyone should give it a goal or something. Lol. And again, i love my secret valentine :)

Watched Alvin and The Chipmunks with Sisters and Jiayu jie @ the Cathay last night. Theodore is sooooo cuteeeeeeee! ^^ Have hit town twice this week. After movie, we went to see the night lights @ Orchard. We practically combed the entire place lah. OMG, and i bumped into few friends -.- Reached home at around 11plus.

Oh and i'm loving today. I can say, this week had been a really awesome week for me. Text with secret valentine today. HAHAHA. Sisters said i'm so in love. Like wtfh? ;) I know myself. Hee! Work tomorrow, wth. I'll persevere for the good money though. Tomorrow's gonna be a rather rush day for me. Had to attend Ain's brother's birthday party cum bbq cum steamboat. I'm gonna work this out later on. Right now, i'm heading back to Pirates again. Aye, captain! :D

PS: secret valentine, ily.

Bbq next Tuesday, yay! Hope dad allows me to stay out till dawn. Prays. Till then, pictures next time! Goodnight, world.

You became the reason of my smile. Sweet love, secret love.

2007-12-10T14:47:00.000+08:00

I felt as if i'm flying high up into the sky.

Now, when was the last time i felt this way?

Can't remember.

Had been reminiscing about the good old times with my Primary School friends these days. I'm surprised at how we still could click so well after such long years. Indeed, once a friend always a friend. Had gathering not long ago. Everyone looked so different now but still held onto that friendship which we had when we're in Primary School. Suddenly, it felt all so heart-warming. I maybe feeling too much but, its a sweet happy feeling which is still tingling in me.

For gathering, we met @ Somersat. Decided to meet Bin first before heading to Somersat. We still had as many craps to say as last time. Both of us were so anxious & excited in meeting the rest. It felt as though i'm on my way to meet my boyfriend. Rah. Reached Cineleisure. Lunched @ HongKong Cafe. Chit chatted while eating & the feeling was great. Jiahao was the lame & -.- one. As i was sitting at the corner, i could only communicate with Roy (infront of me), Jiaquan (next to Roy) & Jiahao (beside me). Made hell lots of noise.

Decided to go arcade. Played Table hockey. Tagged team with Jiahao against Sophia, alone. I must say, most of the goals were done by Jiahao. Just one hit & goallllll! Amazing, i tell you. After that, played Kpool. HOHOHO, this one was sexy. I'm a noob in pool. Thank god jj was there. He's the king of pool man. Every move, every pose, every hits, everything of him is so omg! He makes my heart flutter whenever we speak. In love, not. After about few hours of pool, we went movie-ing. Hitman was the film that night. Its the 3rd NC16 film i've watched this year.

& all of them learnt a new vocab from me. "Doink" was the word. Thanks ah, Jiahao ;) The film was exciting with a certain level of nudity in it. HAHAHAHA! It made Hong Qian horny. HAHAHAHAHA! Went for dinner @ Pepper Lunch in Taka afterwhich. Talked about school life & stuff. Then Jiahao started on his interesting journey in RI with all the gays and crap. Again, we made hell lots of noise. Oh, Jeslyn & i love to look at how Jiaquan eats his pasta & make him stress. HAHAHAHA! We sat there after dinner, discussing about where to go next. Ideas went from singing, shopping, clubbing to home.

Accompanied Belinda & Chloe to get Fried Oyster Egg before going on separate ways. B & C trained home while i wanted to cab home. BUT, the goddamn taxi stand was flooded with humans. So i decided to bus home. I didn't know Jiahao was @ the same bus stop as i was until my bus came. He "eh-ed" me and vice versa before boarding the bus. What a funny friend. LOL. Reached home around 11plus. Showered, changed & zzz.

It was a fun night. And the feeling was totally different as compared to friends whom i go out with often. But there's one similarity, all of them make me happy. Now, you must be asking about the pictures right? Will upload them later. Then you'll ask about the holiday trip's & Lee Hom's concert pictures. I'll load them up after the 13th. Don't worry. One by one :]

& YESSA! Next gathering would be on the 17th Dec week since James coming back on the 14th! Yay! Three cheers baby! I've no idea why but i'm so into my Primary School friends now. We seemed to have a lot to talk about. & jj makes my heart flutter even more with his nudging on msn. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOVES.

Its okay. Its not as if this is the first time you've hurt me, right? Do it again.

Okay, this is the sexiest pose for the day. To me :]

2007-12-08T22:52:00.001+08:00

2007-12-08T21:43:00.000+08:00

What would you do for the friend who broke your heart?

I don't feel like updating anything. Maybe when my mood's better/when i'm feeling much much much better than now, i'll update you guys on my holiday trip, Lee Hom's concert @ 2Dec & working experience @ 8Dec. So, stay tune yal :]

& anyone, please bring me out for an all-food-day day. PS: You gotta have um, lots of ka-ching ka-ching yah. I'm craving for lots of good food in Singapore. So let's tour around with food ay? Good idea, yes? Thank you.

It was a wound that hadn't healed. She'd been picking at a superficial scab, one that skimmed the surface of an injury that was so deep even the slightest jolt would have it gushing blood again.

-grab cigar & puff-

2007-12-05T15:12:00.000+08:00

OMG. I'm secretly in love with heavy metals lah. Hardcore emotional songs too. I don't know how, why and when but they rock my stinky underpants. The band, Saosin, is one of them. Thanks to jj that i'm so in love with them huh. -Nudge-

PS: I love Anthony Green like a fat kid loves drumsticks.

Changed blog song again. "I've been dying to reach you" & "Plays pretty for baby" by Saosin. Enjoy!

2007-12-05T15:11:00.000+08:00

Tags replied.

Lijue*: HOHOHO. Okay lor, have Chester already doesn't want Zoe already. Sigh. I'm so sad. HAHAHA!

S.O: LOL. Your present? You got ask me to buy? HAHA!

Jaden-: :] Glad to hear from you too. Hee hee. LOVES.

Limei: HAHA. I love the guitar solo too ;) Such good taste you have. Hees.

Someone's Shi*: I think i know who are you ah. Haha.

Girlfriend': -wink- :]

RYAN[:: HAHA! Make me then. Lol.

drewdrew: Whoa, i was really surprise to see you tag ay. I'll try not to break the promise i've made to you :)

2007-12-02T14:28:00.000+08:00

oh, i feel so sad. this is all so depressing.

2007-12-02T13:25:00.000+08:00

Maybe that was the reason why you broke your promise.

You didn't text neither did you even think of it.

Maybe i was too navie to think that you'll be there.

I was the foolish one, the stupid one.

Maybe you didn't mean it.

But the truth is, you were never there.

Now i finally believe that there is a saying,

"Promises are meant to be broken".

You broke my everything.

Will blog about my trip to Korea some other day.

I'm speechless to say/type/write anything.

Meanwhile, i'll post 1 photo to entertain you people.

Stay tune then.

Tags replied:

RYAN[:: HAHAHA! I won't forget 29Nov lah huh. & i slept quite well there. Don't worry.

limei: My songs? I will sing to you some day. WAHAHA! I know what you mean lah. "Dear God" is nice. I love it too. & I miss you as well.

syek: You're missed too.

drewdrew: Belated bon voyage to you as well. And i won't forget you, never. Take lots of care when you're in Indonesia ah. Don't fall sick like how you did 2 days back. If not, i'll fly to Indonesia ASAP. LOL.

Girlfriend': HAHAHA! I love you too. & thanks for helping me to you-know-what. Hee hee. I miss you too.

Jaden-: I miss you no matter what too, darl.

wh*: I don't want to come back so fast lea. Miss my lameness already right you. HAHAHA!

S.O: WAHAHA! I know what my boss mean, don't worry. You meant your present right? HAHAHAHA! I can read minds :/

sarcastic: Liminnnnnnnnnn, i don't want leaaaaaaaaaa. HAHA.

II andRea II: I miss you too. Takecare!

2007-11-24T17:30:00.000+08:00

I'll be on a hiatus.

Baby has been counting down since morning. 5 more hours. This feels like hell. It somehow felt like i'm counting down to death. But anyways , i'll be back on 10th Dec. Don't worry be happy.

Baby: You'll be flying on the 30th. I will not be in Singapore at that time. So i wish you bon voyage in advance ay. Takecare yourself when you're in Indonesia. Everyone misses you. And remember, return as soon as possible okay? I'll be waiting, so is everyone. LOVES.

I'm leaving this place in just 5 hours time.

Till then, take care!

You're like a drug, baby.

2007-11-23T20:08:00.000+08:00

Had been chatting with Baby since i woke up. He made me :) and showed me funny videos. Thank you Baby. Then i went to prepare the stuffs i wanted to give to Baby. Everything's so rush and i don't think i'm satisfied with the things i gave him. It could be much more better but time is limited. How i hate when time is running out. Gimme gimme gimme more time.

"As we go on, we remember all the times we had together. Come whatever, we will still be friends forever."

I cried while i wrote the things for Baby. He really meant a lot to me. And its really a lot. Met up with Baby just now at around 4plus. Pass him the stuff while he gave what he wants to give to me. Wanted to give Baby a hug ah, but my sister was there already. Sian. So proceeded to Lot1 with sister to buy daily necessities. Was messaging with Baby. He also went Lot1 but we're at different stores. We looked out for one another but invalid. However, we still continued to message. Went NTUC and i started reading what Baby had wrote for me. A total of 3 pieces of paper. My tears started to well up when i was reading the first piece. I almost cried in the NTUC.

Went home after that. Went online immediately and saw Baby.

Baby: I miss you. A lot. I don't know why but this feeling is so strong. Each time i think of you leaving, tears just fall like waterfall. You're just like a part of me, you complete me. Without you, i guess i'll just be another lonely and unhappy girl. You're just like my sunshine, shining me with your everlasting and bright rays. You make me feel so warm and happy inside. I don't know what my life will be like if there weren't you. You make my life better, happier, funnier and more exciting. Now that you're leaving, saddness overwhelm me tremendously. Tears fell uncontrollably. My heart ached like mad. I know and i kept telling myself that this is part and parcel of life. But how i wish that you'll stay with me, by my side. Cause without you, i don't know what to do. Who will be there to cheer me on? Who will be there to push me up? Who will be there to ensure that my roller coaster doesn't go down but up? Who will be there to catch me when i fall? Who will be there to listen to my sorrows over and over again? I miss you. Sometimes i'll think, why am i not an Indonesia? So i can leave and return together with you. Watching my Baby leave is the saddest thing that can happen to me. Maybe i'm getting my retribution by leaving without a word during Chalet. Now, you're leaving me without a word. Ha! Btw, thank you for the stuff just now. Hope you'll return soon. Miss you with all my heart.

Was chatting with Meta and Baby while blogging this. Meta asked me a question. It caught me completely off-guard.

(i shall not show his email) says:
Zoe,why do us ppl have to meet then part?

And so i replied him.

zoe says:
We meet and part is just to test how strong our friendship/relationship is. This is just a test for all of us. God's putting us through a terrible test man. Sometimes i wish, i could be god. So i can call shots. But its already good to be able to make friends with you all. Parting is only the start of something new. Ytd, when we sent you off. I saw this poster, " A new journey begins." & i think its quite true. We each have other life to lead. But after some time, i believe that we'll meet again. This time, no one will be leaving anymore. We'll stay tgt. I'm looking forward to this day.

I hope he's satisfied with my answer though. Somehow i felt like i'm self-deceiving. The answer i gave is so not what i'm thinking about. I was actually questioning myself, "Why? Why do we have to meet and then part?" I detest the way things are. I find them ridiculous. Why make us meet and then separate us? If that's the case, why let us meet in the first place? It'll only bring pain and misery to everyone. That's why i'm afraid of making friends. I'm afraid that one day, they'll leave me. Like now, everyone's leaving slowly; one by one. And at the end of the day, i'm left with myself to fend for myself.

I think i've grumble wayyyy too much. Its time for me to shower & pack my luggage. There's still many things left for me to handle. Till then, toodles.

43 more days. I'll persevere for Baby. I'll open the stuff only after 43 days, i promise :)

2007-11-22T18:11:00.001+08:00

2007-11-22T18:01:00.000+08:00

Firstly, thankyou Baby for waking me up with that message of yours. If not, i would have overslept. Met Ain, Zhiwei & Baby @ Choa Chu Kang Mrt. Then we train-ed to Changi Airport. Its a long long journey. We're like the baby sardines, being pushed & packed in the train. Something funny happened throughout the journey & only WE knew. -nudge Baby, Zhiwei & Ain- Lol. Sky train-ed to Terminal 1. Met up with Limin @ Burger King. Had breakfast.

Meta, Andrea, Keith & Kaifeng came afterwards. Chit-chatted before roaming around Changi Airport. Had snapping session. Then, we rotted at some place before proceeding to Popeyes for food. Their french fries rock my underpants upside down yo. Then had snapping session with Ain & Limin. Had some haha-ing with Andrea & Meta :) Afterwards, we head to the Departure hall. Meta got everything done & he's ready to fly @ 1350. My mood changed tremendously. It went swing 'swang' swung. Watched him entered the Departure hall. I don't know why but tears fell. I didn't mean it. I thought i was strong enough to control myself. I knew this scene was coming, even before last night. But it stuck me super hard. I tried to smile & joke around.

"Tsk tsk. The spelling is damn lousy man." -points to one of the plane- "ValueAir becomes VaLuAir. Where's the E man?" Its a lousy one but it made some smile.

Proceeded to the Viewing Mall. I sole-d @ one corner while the others gathered around the rails to search for Meta's plane. I told myself to chill & when i was much better, my phone rang. It was Meta :( I immediately swung open my phone & answered. And again, tears fell uncontrollably. All the things he said are still ringing in my head. Pass the phone around.

& Andrea, i promised Meta that i'll take care of you. So, i'll take over his job when he's not around. Don't worry, i'm as good as Meta :]

Waited for Meta's plane to take off. We watched the plane flew away till it disappeared into the clouds. That, was a sad moment. Went to toilet cause i'm have an urgent business. After that, we train-ed back. Some went Vivo, some went home. Well, i went home. I was at my deepest end then. I kept staring into space & my thoughts ran wild. Then i heaved & shut my eyes.

I hate reality.

Baby knew how i felt. He understands. Next in line to fly is Andrea, followed by me then Baby. I miss Baby. I know i meet & see you today but my 'miss you' is different from that kind of 'miss which i haven't been seeing you for long' type. You know what i mean?

I miss Lin Htet. I miss ZhaoJing. I miss Meta. I miss Baby. I miss everyone.

2 more days. But i'm not ready yet. I have so much to say to each and every one. I know i'll be returning, its just a holiday for me. What i mean is that, those that are leaving; will they be back? For long? I struggled a lot these few days.

I didn't know Meta meant so much to me until today. I didn't know ZhaoJing meant so much to me until yesterday. Friends, they're all that i have. And now i felt like i'm losing them slowly, one by one. This feeling is not good. I don't like it. I loathe!

Stupid 98.7fm was playing Timberland's Apologise while i was walking home. It made me shed tears like mad. Siao-liao. I need to cry my heart out. Don't stop me. I know everyone is equally sad especially Andrea. I can feel it. So let us fight this feeling uh. Till then, toodles.

I'm being thrown back to hell.

I promised that i'll print this photo out & paste it on my toilet's door :)
Meta, we miss you.

2007-11-21T18:28:00.000+08:00

Oh yessa, went out today. Met Limin @ Westmall. I was late -.- There was no electricity lah. & i've to walk down 14 floors which is 280 flights of stairs. Its frigging dark ah & i kept scaring my ownself. Funny things happened & only Kaifeng knows (Shhhhhh!) Finally, i escaped from the darkness & train-ed to Bukit Batok.

Limin went to develop her photos. Afterwhich we train-ed to Bishan - Junction 8. Shopped around while waiting for Px to join us. She's so directionless, OMG. We played hide & seek. Wahaha! Okay, then had Long John for lunch. Wanted Subway but nvm. HAHA! Long John @ Junction 8 is cursed man. Limin knocked her precious forehead against the chair just for her 10cent while Px bag's button spoilt. Then Limin almost spat her Ice Lemon Tea out. WAHAHAHA! Only i was blessed :/ After that, we went job hunting -.- Most probably, we'll work together yo! :D

Train-ed to Choa Chu Kang with Px while Limin went home. I went to Popular to get some stuffs while Px went to her cousin's house. Then Limin messaged me regarding... -.- Nvm. I walked out of Popular & saw Px. I was like O.O She's still job hunting instead of going to her cousin's house. I think she missed me too much, that's why :X So i accompanied her since the electricity at home is not okay yet. Walked level to level. Man, Px filled up lots of application forms. Then we bumped into Sabri ^.^ & his sister? Romeooooo! -nudge Limei- Oh whatever. HAHAHA. Called sister & she said the electricity is back. Train-ed back to Yew Tee & collected the photos before going home.

I'm damn tired. Oh, sorry Zhaojing. I can't wake up on time this morning. I slept @ 3plus last night. Ahhhh, missed that chance again! >:( Please come online onlinee onlineee. I've so many things to say. & there's aplenty of emotions last night. Blame? -points to Meta immediately- HAHAHAHA! But it was nice messaging you, Dou ya gong ;) & i'm starting to detest Jay's songs. They make me emo -.- But they're nice. Its a love hate thing between Jay & i lah huh. Ha! Alright, got to go prepare some things. Till then, toodles.

Yes, imy.

2007-11-20T21:40:00.000+08:00

Had Class Chalet from 18Nov to 20Nov. But i went only on the 19th. Went there with Zhiwei, Ain & Shahera. The mrt & bus ride were oh-so-fantastic. Reached Chalet & not long after, we went for 'hiking'. Pan Peng was the leader and we {Zhaojing, Ching Rong, Hui Xiang, Shahera, Ain & i} followed. We walked all the way to the other end. The weather changed tremendously. So we ended sheltering @ the coffee shop nearby. Funny things happened. Well, then we bus-ed back to Chalet.

Had fun in between. Lazy to elaborate. Played murderer game. Had 3 to 4 rounds (i think) & i'm always the murderer. I so had the murderer fate man. I think i'm going to be a murderer when i grow up. Probably an assassin. WOOHOO. Clement & i were the best partners in crime ay. We won @ the last round. HAHAHA! Then we had bbq and Andrew's cooking. I didn't know my baby can cook so well. Surprised i must say.

Stayed till 10plus before leaving. Dad can't find his way there. So silly. So Md.Hakim & i waited at the road junction which was just a few steps away from our chalet. I had this urge to run back and give my baby a hug. I mean, i really miss him so much & to think that he's leaving soon, very soon. Influx of emotions. Reached home @ 2plus cause we went to eat.

I MISS EVERYONE :(

Woke up @ 10plus today. Watched "My wife is a gangster 3". I would say its a good film but there's some -.- parts. & Shuqi's hell sexy. Ohmy. After that, went back to sleep till 5plus. Woke up and used computer till now. Sister's friends came over. Had fun. There'll be no electricity tomorrow. They're checking some stuff again. So, i decided to go shopping tomorrow. This time, with Limin. Pray that the lifts will operate when i return. If not, i can just sleep @ the lobby.

I STILL MISS EVERYONE :(

Changed blog song. Saw the lyrics from Atiqah's blog & learnt about the title from Juliet's blog. Its a nice song. For me, with this kind of mood right now. Its basically, perrrrrrrfecttttt. Okay, toodles people.

THIS FEELING WON'T LEAVE TILL I SLEEP, I GUESS :(

Dear God, the only thing i ask of you is to hold him when i'm not around, when i'm much too far away.

2007-11-18T14:03:00.000+08:00

People come & people leave. Perhaps this is the experience which every single one of us has to undergo in our life. Yesterday, i was in my saddest mood. I don't know why. Since the first minute i woke up till the last minute i shut my eyes, i'm overwhelmed with many many feelings. Maybe i'm just being too overdramatic & emotional. Maybe i can push partly the blame to Jay Chou cause of his sad songs. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I have never felt so sad before. Not even when i'm in Primary 6.

I feel that i've took everyone for granted. And these days, i've been trying to mend that gap between me and everyone. I know its late, too late. But i hope that with this little amount of time, i'm able to create miracles. I hate to say this but i really miss everyone. Humans are horrible creatures. They only start to treasure and realise how important the people around them are when they lost them. Well, that applies to me. Friends are hard to come by, especially good friends. Every single person whom i had known makes a difference in my life. They changed me for the better. All had an impact to me ay. I have so much to say and so much feelings in me to let out. But, i guess its difficult to say. The feeling will not be the same. So, feel it.

Zhaojing:

You know, you're the best brother i can ever get. Though i started knowing you only in Sec3 and i find it rather late for me to know you, i still enjoy every minute i had with you. I know all the jokes you had made are for fun & all the teasing as well. Actually, i don't take them to heart. In fact, i'll miss them when you're gone. The brother and sister hood which we had inside are so significant to me.

I still remember that time when we ate Pizza Hut @ Jurong Entertainment centre. You served me everything. Maybe you have forgotten but all this will stay with me. I'll remembered the slightest things you had done for me. During the outing to Ngee Ann Poly, you gave me chocolate, which we had for gifts, when i asked for it. You're really a good and caring brother. And there was this late night call. We talked on the phone all the way until you had reached home after Dota (i think) You said that you're afraid of the dark. I laughed but actually i find it rather cute. There was this time when i called you for Physics, remember? I almost broke Lin Htet's record huh. I really want to thank you so much. Be it everything that you had done for me. Those memories, they don't come easy. Do take care when you're in China ay. MISSED.

Meta:

You, never fail to put a smile on my face everyday. You spur me on when i felt like giving up. You give me the strength to live a happy life. And you hate to see me sad. With you around, i felt safe. I don't know why. Maybe you've that "don't mess with anyone" face ay which make me feel secure eh? You've been protective too. Whenever people bully me, i shout your name & you'll be there (prepared with your punching action - jumping up and down with hands clenched closed to chest) I'll share my water with you while you'll share your tibits with me. Great trading skills huh.

Though you always tease me, i know you're just trying to interact with me. HAHA. Now when you're leaving, i feel extremely sad. You've left a super huge and impactful impression in me. It bang me so hard that i felt so depressing when you're leaving. You're a great friend. A humourous and good one. And because of your "Really don't have table manners man", i've learnt and tried to be a cultured one. And because of your "Sucha big mouth you have", i've learnt and tried to be more lady-like when it comes to eating. You changed me, bit by bit. Trust me, i'm a girl. & will be a better one when you return :)

Andrew:

Though i always say that you action me, i'm just kidding. You're one friend whom i can really relate to. I don't feel insecure telling you my secrets. You even knew the darkest one. I feel safe with you. I feel happy with you. You've helped me in many many ways. You're one of the reasons why i worked so hard for Olevels.

When i felt like giving up, you are there to give me a push and cheer me on. When i felt like i'm all alone, you're there to accompany me throughout the lonesome night. When i felt like i'm going on a rollercoaster ride, you're there to assure me that i won't be heading down but only up and up. When i need my mask, you'll be the one finding it for me. I can't hide anything from you & i won't. Being your mummy, its my greatest honour. I really don't wish to see you go but i know its impossible. Perhaps some years later, we'll meet again. But anyways, thank you for understanding me. You're my baby, forever. LOVES.

Abdul Hakim:

We have been through many. I still recall that i used to not know how to spell your name in Sec1 & i would spell it as Adbul instead of Abdul. But after much practising on every pieces of your worksheet, i finally knew how to spell it by heart. We used to be so close in Sec1 and Sec2. And because of some things which happened, we sort of lost the touch of our friendship. Remember that there was a period of time when i dare not talk to you? I had so much to say then. I'm sorry.

Now that i'm saying all this, is not because i want to sabotage your realtionship with her, but i feel that you should know. I really wish you and her would be happily together forever, from the bottom of my heart. And to her: we're just purely friends, besties the most. It had been 4years since then. That feeling which i had since Sec1 is still not gone. Maybe its because we've been seeing each other's face everyday due to school. Seeing you everyday doesn't help me to forget you quick enough. Now that we've graduated, i believe that the image of you in my head, will slowly fade away. With the aid of time, i believe that the feeling in me for you will come to a stop.

There are so many memories which we had and they are hard to forget. The more i want to forget, the more i can't. I regret not treasuring you then. But i also know that its not the time to regret. Cause time will not be rewind and the feeling you had for me will not be the same. I could only take the blame and learn from my mistake. I'm sorry to have hurt you deep then. I was too foolish to realised that you were the one for me then. But still, i thank you for everything. And it was because of you, my Secondary life will be sucha a memorable one.

I do treasure our friendship a lot. Cause not many will still be good friends after break-ups. I'm glad that we're still friends. Although we're not as close as we used to be, we're still besties. You're one of the few whom is closed to my heart. You've been asking me to move on, and i'm trying to. I believe that i will, someday. Those memories, i will never forget. Anyways, thank you for making me realised that life isn't just about studying and studying. There are many more elements to it. And thank you for making my life a colourful one :] BESTIES FOREVER.

Others:

Sometimes we don't need t make things so clear to each other. Somethings are meant to be felt and not known by saying. Thank you for colouring my life with different bright colours. There are just so much more than just thank you. I can't single each and every one of you. But i believe that you all know the importance of you guys in my heart. Everyone is special in one way or another. To all my friends, be it we're close or not, thank you for leaving a mark in my heart throughout my 4 years of life. This is the most beautiful chapter of my life i believe. Thank you.

I'll keep all of you in a special little corner in my heart.

2007-11-18T11:11:00.000+08:00

YESSA! Daddy bought Jay Chou's album for me! Hee hee hee hor hor hor. Every single track in his album rocks my underpants. Especially Track 10 - 最长的电影. It makes me :( and wanna cry while listening to it. Okay, back to business. Have somemore Prom Night's pictures to upload. Actually more than what i'm going to upload now but, Px & Limin haven't send to me (PS. Send me when you guys see this alright?) So, let's not waste time ay.

再给我两分钟　让我把记忆结成冰

别融化了眼泪　你妆都花了要我怎么记得

记得你叫我忘了吧　记得你叫我忘了吧

你说你会哭　不是因为在乎

2007-11-16T12:40:00.000+08:00

2007-11-16T12:38:00.000+08:00

People never know how special someone is until they leave,

but maybe sometimes it's important to leave, so they are given that chance to see how special that someone really is.

Last night was awesome! Had our Prom Night @ Traders Hotel. Everyone there looked extremely gorgeous. Besties waited for us to finish our makeup & hairdo before cabbing to Traders. Px asked stupid questions in the taxi which made him speechless yah? -Nudge Besties- HAHAHA! Mdm Tong said something which made me went -.- LOL. "Is that Zoe? Ohmy, she changed so much. From a young girl to sucha grown up." Hey, i still wanna be a young girl ay. Hahaha. Afterwards we proceeded to the ballroom/ whatever you call that.

Px & i were super hungry. So you know what happened lah. HAHAHA! Overall, i enjoyed myself though there're some part where i felt like zzz-ing. LOL. But still, the night was enjoyable. Especially with all the beautiful and dashing people surrounding me. & because my wish was fulfilled :) Oh, i've gotten the 95th prize of Lucky Draw. The emcee was -.- lah. People there should know what happened. HAHAHA! & our table was lucky lucky man. 6/8 of us got a prize from the lucky draw. LOL. Well, let the pictures do the talking ay? Let's begin with:

PROM NIGHT '07

My Prom Date:) Picture of the night. I LOVE;]

Why is it so easy to fall in love but so hard to find your way out?

2007-11-14T21:04:00.000+08:00

I BOUGHT THE CLICK FIVE'S ALBUM TODAYYYYY! :D

Hahaha, yes i'm a very happy girl now. Wanted to buy Jay's album but it costs a bomb. 21plus lollars. Murder me please. So i decide to drag daddy to the cd shop next time to grab Jay's album. Woohoo! :)

Had another walking/ shopping marathon with Darwinians & Shahirah today. Went to Westmall to accompany Limin to get her heels & clutch in the morning. Both of us were late. HAHAHA! After much walking around, we went to Lot1 to meet the rest @ 12pm. Then we proceeded to City Hall. Lin htet got his stuffs done while we shopped around City Link. Headed to Plaza Singapura afterwards to get our mask. But in the end, we didn't cause the masks there looked so -.- LOL. Then we had picture-snapping session outside somewhere. They were snapping while i was chatting with Wei Hao. That fella, HAHAHAHA! We were like rotting lah. So the 5 beauties went to Westmall for Px's camera.

The journey was o.o I kept dozing off and waking up. So irritating yo! My butt was like aching to the core & only they knew what i did. -inside secret- Hee hee hee hor hor hor. Reached Westmall & flew to Harvey Norman. Px had so many free gift lah! PS: Lend me your photoshop cd ah, Xuan. Hee hee. Then we discussed about tomorrow, where to meet & when to meet, before going on our separate ways home.

Reached home, showered, ate, tv-ed & here i am. I think i'm turning in early today. I'm so tired! & my butt is still aching. I dont't know why ah >:( Prom's tomorrow. I'm not excited yet looking forward to it. It's gonna be a sad moment lah. I'm so going to hug everyone & cry tomorrow. HA! Gotta bring lots and lots of tissue (since i'm selling them) -nudge Kaifeng- Ay, don't care. Tomorrow's gonna be the coolest day ever. Btw, takecare Lin htet. We'll definitely see each other again yal? Bon voyage! Till then, toodles people!

When will i see you again? After tomorrow, after taking results, after everything.

2007-11-13T20:28:00.000+08:00

Hee hee hee hor hor hor. OLEVEL IS OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Rejoice baby! I'm so loving it yo. Right, just came back from shopping @ AMK Hub and Bugis. We shopped more @ AMK Hub lah. Didn't bump into Girlfriend/Ain/Wendy @ Bugis :( But still, came back home with bags of stuffs.

The year's coming to an end. Some are leaving Singapore and returning to their country. There's a sad sad feeling in me and i've a lot to say to you people. So let's start the ball rolling ay. This is how it goes:

My Bestest Best buddies
Px: I can never forget how i first met you when we're just 13. I didn't know that you were the one who will accompany me throughout this 4years when i accidentally pulled that pinafore of yours. We really went through many many ups & downs. Still remember when we were 14, we wrote our feelings for the special someone of ours on a piece of paper. And we'll correct each other's grammar/spelling & adding funny stuffs to it. Then we'll talk about them and cry. How silly of us huh. But i guess its part & parcel of our life. Our friendship is so strongly bonded that no one can sabotage it though there used to be some hiccups between us. Thank you for being there for me throughout this 4years of my Secondary School life.

Ain: I could still remember the time you offered your hand to me when we're playing that Sec1 orientation game. That smile, that voice, that face; and at that moment, i knew you're a friend who will spur me on and always be there for me. And i was not wrong. You've been a very good companion, motivator & confidant. I know i can trust and rely on you. Those laughters, those precious moments, i'll never forget. Thank you for everything that you had done for me. Very much appreciated.

Limin: We were not very close in Sec1 and 2 but we do hang out together. Though you have your sarcastic times, i know you're good by nature. I also know that you care a lot for me. You want me to be happy and you love to see me smile instead of frowning. Thanks for those little notes before exams/orals. They really put smile on my face and built my confidence. Although sometimes i don't really think that i really know you, i'll keep on trying to find out more about you. So far, i've only seen the happy side of you. Perhaps you don't really like people to get close to your other side, but i'll always be here whenever you need me aye. Love always.

Girlfriend & Darhlings
Grace: Yo yo yo. You've been a wonderful girlfriend. Your lame jokes never fail to make me laugh out loud. Thank you for always solving my complicated problems. & i guess you're the only one who never get sick of my nonsense :) I really love your presence. You make me happy. & PS: We're the certified lame-os :]

Wendy: Thank you for cheering me up when i'm down. Thank you for helping me with my problems of him. You're the greatest darhling i can ever have. All the cards and encouraging notes you gave me are still neatly kept in my drawer. With you around, my trouble seems so far away. Thank you.

Joanne: Thank you for always protecting me. Be it from Rapahel/others. You're just like a big sister to me (though i'm older than you by a few months. Lol) You're a very good motivator and someone i feel very comfortable with. Thank you yo :)

XiaoMei, Wo de ai ren& Baking goddess
Limei: You're a cute, funny and scary XiaoMei. I can just blabber non-stop with you. We can talk almost everything under the sun, moon, stars. But sometimes your super-fast changing of moods frighten me. Somehow i can guess what's happening. I'll always be here for you, lending you the most precious pair of ears. Do takecare & be happy, XiaoMei!

Winnie: HOHO! First, thank you for the pair of Lee Hom's concert tix. Those funny moments we used to had when you're my partner in Sec2 were so memorable. April fool jokes. I miss those days when we laughed, screamed, go crazy. & you'll always be my Winniesssssssssss :)

Jessica: Though we only knew each other this year, you're a very nice friend. Your baking skills are oh-so-powerful yo! Miss those days when we baked at Limin's house & oogling at Zac Efron in the cinema. Singing at the top of our voice, oh-so-nice. Wish you in the pink of health & all the best for your operation.

Knight in shining armour from Brazil
Abdul Hakim: HIGH LOW! This is how i always greet you. You know, there are so many memories you had given me throughout this 4years. How do you expect me to live my life, knowing that it'll be without you this time? We have been strangers, friends, partners & besties. Funny moments, happy moments, sad moments, crazy moments; i had everything with you. I still remember that you refuse to change your seat when you're my partner when we're 13. You would wear my spectacles and borrow my wipers & i'll write your name for you on every pieces of worksheets. Remember the pigs we drew on each other's English journal book? The crazy every-Wednesday-is-a-bubbleman-day? You would help me when teachers asked me questions & vice versa. I still can't accept the fact that i refuse to ride a 2 seater bike with anyone except you. Perhaps to me, you're the only one who doesn't think that i'm heavy on the bike. But you had leg cramp after going up the steep slope & you didn't say anything. Besties, thank you for everything & all the memories you had left for me. They'll be with me forever and ever and ever! :D

Happy-pie, Baby & Healthy Lifestyle
Ching Rong: Those late night messages, i will never forget. I would message you till i fall asleep & you'll always miss your chance of asking that question. The park which you'll always go when you're :( & me getting worried. But that are all the used to be. PS: don't zzz on benches ah, ahpek. Once my Happy-pie, always my happy-pie. You make me smile, you make me laugh, you make me happy. Oh, i still remember that i will watch Jacky Wu's Saturday show with you till late & we'll discuss about everything Jacky had done. & you'll always be my loveSQUARE; then, now, forever. Its just a term right? Thank you for all the things you had done for me too.

Andrew: You never fail to knock some sense into me yo. Thank you for finding my mask. Thank you for that roller coaster picture. & i'll always go up and up cause i know you'll be behind, pushing me. You've been real sweet though we always bicker. I had never regret calling you my baby. You stood by me when there are stormy weather. You stood by me when i needed someone. You stood by me when i felt that i had no one. You will keep cheering me up when i'm down, using all kinds of method. Baby, you've been great. Thank you.

Md.Hakim: You're just like a little brother of mine. Don't be emo, don't be sad. Don't always keep things to yourself. You can always tell me or Ain. We are your good friends right? Shopping with you is always so fun & Sentosa too. Don't forget your promise ah! Its after Olevel already :) We had been through many many ups & downs too. I treasure you and our friendship a lot. Don't be emo or i'll be your elmo;)

Dou ya gong, EC, Go-zzz-lar& Htet-ah
Meta: You kept bickering with me but it always ends up with me giving up to you or vice versa. & you knew that i never dare to box you on the face, so you allowed me to. But it never crosses your mind that i'll box your rummy tummy. You bring laughters to my life. All the names calling ranging from Plasticine, Rock Lee, Dou ya sao, Monkey troop's member #1. They indeed made me LOL thinking back on where and how they origin from. Your facial expression when others want to drink from my bottle is so laughable. During Chinese lessons, they're hahaha man. All the fill in the blanks which some you got wrong because of me :/ Btw, thank you for all the fun moments. Dou ya gong!

Gage: You with your past tense present tense when we competed Maths with Zhiwei and Px. Oh & showing Px and i your flawless marks for graphs yal :) You never smile at all, okay you did sometimes. I had such difficult time to make you laugh/ smile. & the you wanting to leave 307 >:( but i refused to let you. Hahaha. Thank you for the times when you walked me home & not replying my messages (you always reply 1/2) You're a great friend, GageLee.

Kaifeng: Kept calling me auntie when you're an uncle yourself. Lol. I'm aware of the things you had done for me. I appreciate them. Btw, you still owe me KFC. & you haven't buy my 50 lollars tissue! :) Buy it quick, while stock last.

Lin Htet: You're one funny fella. Stalking me to school ah today. Lol. I'm sorry if i kept teasing about you and Px but they're all jokes yal? I love to crack jokes and sharing stuffs with you. You make me feel lighter and happier. Well, i can't deny that you've good brains man. & thank you for coaching me with my studies. All the moments, i'll never forget. You're just like an idol of mine! Signature please :D

Rest of 4Darwin: Thank you for bring Darwin to life & adding colours to it. Each and every one of you had made an impact in my life. We had the greatest teachers & the loveliest classmates. I miss everyone & hope we'll keep in contact. LOVE LOVE LOVE.

All of you are not forgotten, just being kept away.

2007-11-10T23:35:00.000+08:00

The Young Lady came to the Old Man seeking counsel.

I broke something, Old Man.

How badly is it broken?

It's in a million little pieces.

I'm afraid i can't help you.

Why?

It can't be fixed.

Why?

It's broken beyond repair. It's in a million little pieces.

2007-11-10T21:54:00.000+08:00

Ohmygod! Today's much of a marathon to me as well. Met up with the shopping queens and kings in the morning & headed to FarEast. Waited for the super queen to arrive before heading to different shops. HAHAHA.

Treated Limei to ice cream ;) Hope she enjoyed. Hee hee. Sorry if i had frightened you, but I would really like to share my used-to-be happiness on that ice cream with you. HAHAHA. Seeing you reacting while 'collecting' your ice cream just reminds me of myself then with you-know-who. Ohwell, they're just nothing but memories which lies deep in my heart. So, i'll keep them at places where they ought to be yal :)

After much walking around, ate Subway for lunch. Wesley, Kaifeng, Meta& Andrea joined in while the LMs shopped. Subway melt just rocks my underpants yo! Went to find the LMs after lunch & yes, my dear XiaoMei finally bought the things she wanted. Hee hee. Happy for her. Then we met Sarah! Ohohoh, haven't been seeing her for how many donkey years man! :) So we moved along & Limin and i headed to The Hereen while waiting for Ain and 2 very special guests (i suppose) HAHAHA! Okay, a part of me didnt want to see him but another part of me is dying to see him. Cause i haven't been seeing him for like a week? God knows how long lah. So, i was secretly happy when his face came into my view. Hee hee hee hor hor hor ;)

The mask shop wasn't open today. So we walked around Hereen before proceeding to FarEast again! Cause the 2 very special guests wanted to get Vest & we wanna see shoes. Lol. Talked while walking there. Right, Ain told me lots of things. And some of it made me really happy. Aha! You shan't know why :/ & I can forsee that 15th is gonna be a really awesome day/night for everyone of us yo.

& Lm, i'll wait for you to finish your makeup since you're gonna accompany me to the makeup studio/ something. Don't change my mindset/ whatever & don't use him as an excuse for me ah. If not, i'll send electric waves to you. HAHAHA! Well, he'll be in Orchard by that time too. So, we'll see about that BUT i'll not, no, NEVER abandon you:)

Alright, i'm getting a little tired here. So toodles people! Stay tune :]

I'm glad that you still remember that promise. It made me smile, today.

2007-11-09T18:42:00.000+08:00

Ching Rong recommended this song. And i find it rather nice :)

Jay's 我不配

这街上太拥挤　太多人有秘密　玻璃上有雾气在被隐藏起过去

你脸上的情绪　在还原那场雨　这巷弄太过弯曲走不回故事里

这日子不再绿　又斑驳了几句　剩下搬空回忆的我在大房子里

电影院的座椅　隔遥远的距离　感情没有对手戏你跟自己下棋

还来不及仔仔细细写下你的关于

描述我如何爱你　你却微笑的离我而去

这感觉　已经不对　我努力在挽回

一些些　应该体贴的感觉　我没给　

你嘟嘴　许的愿望很卑微　在妥协　

是我忽略　你不过要人陪

这感觉　已经不对　我最后才了解　

一页页　不忍翻阅的情节　你好累　

你默背　为我掉过几次泪　多憔悴　

而我心碎你受罪　你的美　我不配

2007-11-09T11:23:00.000+08:00

Yesterday felt like a marathon to me. Hahaha. Woke up @ 9plus and had breakfast with parents. Afterwhich, set off to Orchard for Prom stuffs & Winter clothings. I must say that Daddy has very good taste :) Oh and very beautiful credit cards. Hee hee. After much try-out of dresses, finally settled with one. Must thank the assistant too, she's a great help too. And, i saw Grace & the other 4/8 of Eighties :)

Right, then we head to Lucky Plaza for lunch. Had Ban Mian :P After much walking around Orchard, we went to Toa Payoh's Safra Club to buy winter clothings. I bought a Black one. Hee hee. I was having a backache then, so i just sat there & watched tv while waiting for the rest. Left the place @ around 4plus i think. Slept throughout the journey home.

Shopping tomorrow with XiaoMei. So excited. Hahaha! Shall shop till we drop yo. Hee hee. Ohmygod, i have never been a shopping queen like now. I'm going broke someday. Wahaha! But who cares :/ Korea, i can't wait. Lee Hom's concert, i ubber can't wait. LAADEEDOO :B Hee hee hee hoo hoo hoo.

Okay, i'm going to slack one corner before going out with mummy later. Prepare for some marathon again. And stupid Kelvin messaged me in the morning just to remind me to go to Ngee Ann. Stupid pig lah he, but cute ;) Will consider though, provided that he provides Limousine ay. Wahaha.

Toodles people.

We'll never be the same like we used to.

2007-11-07T17:07:00.000+08:00

Its a sunny yellow banana day :) Just changed the playlist on my blog. 183 Club - 感情線. It somehow speaks what i always wanted to say to you. Ohwell, shall let them do the talking then :]

Tidied my room today. It was hell messy i tell you. In the end, i had 3 bags full of books & notes. Now my back's crying for help. What a great accomplishment i had huh. Hahaha! Had breakfast with mummy & siblings this morning. I woke up at 8plus as promised. Sucha good girl eh :) Okay i'm so going to spend the next half of my day rotting away. Hee hee. Tomorrow's Deepavali! Holiday plus shopping spree. KOREA KOREA KOREA. -smile widely- I know i've been emphasising on that lately but i'm really excited about the trip. YESSA.

Okay, Limin can't join us in our mass shopping this Saturday:( Girl ah, you promised me eh:( I don't want to go Kbox with you already. HAHAHA! Well if you really can't make it, its okay :) I'll proceed with XiaoMei. Hees.

I'm just slacking my way @ home. I'm turning into a boredom goddess already. HAHAHA. Roar, i think i'll look for something much more entertaining than blogging lah. Its so lame, typing and typing to a computer -.- So, toodles people :)

PS: That song's for you. Yup, its you. Ask for a translator if you need one. Well, i think you need one lah huh. HAHAHA.

Seeing you wanting to leave, yet i pretend to smile. How much longer must i endure hiding my frailness?

2007-11-06T17:49:00.000+08:00

Alright, finally i've found a place @ Shoutitout to pour my sorrows with no one knowing and thus they'll not be affected. Killing two birds with a stone huh. Whatever you say then. LOL.Today's boredom. I so long for freedom then but when i had it, i felt bored. What the hell -.- Had been Msn-ing with Khairul lately. Hahaha! Very humourous. Um if i tell you that i gtg, you'll still be able to see me online for at least 1hour (provided if Khai's online) Cause we'll keep talking and talking till i forgot that i need to go. Ha! :)

Have been indulging in The Click Five's new songs these days. They're love man. Especially 'Mary Jane', 'I'm getting over you', 'Empty' and 'Happy Birthday'. Hell, i'm so into them. Joey Zehr & Kyle Patrick are smoking hot;) Another hottest thing is that, i can't wait to go Korea! Hee, i'm sharing my happiness with you people :D Everywhere i go these days, i'm bound to see notices/advertisement of Korea. & they sure make me feel more eager to fly there. LIKE NOW! Hahaha. Lots of activities are lined up & i'm just waiting for each day to pass.

Had been blog hopping for the entire afternoon. Came across Meta's & almost all of his entries are coated with honey yo. They made me go 'awwww'. HAHAHA! Oh, then i came across a small section for me. True enough; without me, he won't be drinking much.

So to Dou Ya Gong/ Parklee/ Monkey Leader/ Hyperman:
Please remember to drink lots of water when you're away (be it Thailand/anywhere) Don't give busy as an excuse huh. Tux in the taxi, laptoping. HAHAHA! Inside secret which we had last summer. LOL. Takecare!
With love, Dou Ya Sao/ Rocklee/ Monkey Member 1/ Hypermart.

Okay, i feel like i'm doing English letter writing. HAHAHA. Well, i've more to write about the rest. But i will do it after Biology Paper 1, which is after 13Nov. So, stay tune:)

The Click Five - Mary Jane.

I didn't cry the day you moved away
I didn't think that I could feel this pain
Until I saw the stranger that was you
Whatever happened to our innocence
and the somethin' that you said about being friends
tell me how
help me say the words out loud

could it be
that nothings gonna change
cause time has got a way of taking back
everything you thought you had
can you see
the girl you used to be
the one I lost when I let go of you
oh whatever happened to
mary jane
ooh ooh
ooh ooh

I need to wake up from this state of mind
the situation is the same kind
I gotta get your memory out of my head
would you catch me if I had to fall
would you even find the time for that at all
tell me how
help me say the words out loud

could it be
that nothings gonna change
time has got a way of taking back
everything you thought you had
can you see
the girl you used to be
the one I lost when I let go of you
oh whatever happened to
mary jane
ooh ooh
ooh ooh

cause time has taken back
everything I thought we had

Mary Jane..

could it be
nothings gonna change
cause time has got a way of taking back
everything you thought you had
can you see
the girl you used to be
the one I lost when I let go of you
oh whatever happened to
mary jane
ooh ooh
oh whatever happened to
ooh ooh
mary jane

2007-11-05T23:22:00.000+08:00

Good news!

I'M GOING TO HOTSTUFF'S CONCERT:)

Hee hee. Its a last minute decision though but i'll move along with it. YAPHOOOO. Wang Lee Hom, i can't wait to see you. HAHAHA. Gotta travel & watch Lee Hom. What a pleasure!

PS: Have to thank my Winniessssss for the tixs. Thankyou ah. Love you plenty!

2007-11-05T17:18:00.000+08:00

Can we bring yesterday back around? Cause i know how i feel about you now.

Struggle within. To forget you. But i failed. Nevermind. I will persevere. And overcome this feeling. Whoa, it had been a loooonnngggg time since i last blog huh. About a month of so hrm. Well, like what Andrew always says i'm a spykid (if you know what it means) -Nudge Andrew-

Ole! Olevel is coming to an end. Hip hip hoorayyyyyy baby. It had been a torturous month i tell you. Always turning in at 2plus, 3 in the morning, mugging my ass off the beautiful night. But thankgod Muttons @ Midnight is always there to accompany me. I just so love Ping & Pong. Hee hee. They make dirty/lame but humourous jokes. Oh, i ain't no pervert yal :)

2 more papers & i'll bid Olevel goodbye! Had Biology & Social Studies papers today. I panic @ the disco like mad. As you know, Biology & Social Studies are never my strong subjects. I suck at them. So i've to work doubly hard and hope not to flunk it. -cross fingers- Papers today were FUYOOOOH alright. I won't say its super chicken feet but they're managable lah. Okay-okay. Btw, thankyou ah Shahirah for accompanying (i would say) me while i was revising for Biology. You made me memorise stuffs easier and faster. Thankyou.

Tomorrow's Physics& Chemistry MCQ. Hope they'll be managable too. If not, i'll kill myself. Ha. I can't wait for Olevel to end da. Seriously, i'm going crazy. & & & Winnie has tickets to Wang Lee Hom's concert BUT i'm still oversea-ing then. AHHHHHHHHH! So sad! :( There goes one of my HOTSTUFFS :( What the pig :( Anyways, i kept countdowning these days. So let's do it here, shall we?

5 more days to shopping with LMs.

8 more days to end of Olevel.

10 more days to Prom Night -.-

13 more days to Class Chalet.

19 more days to Korea!!!!!! Ohyessa! I want HOTSTUFFS. Hee.

Till then, mugging for MCQ. What the crap :/

You've stolen my hearttttttttt.

2007-10-08T16:19:00.000+08:00

Hello yellow, little earthlings!:) Okay, pause -.- Pardon me for not updating recently. Had to accompany my books, you see. Studying with Girlfriend& darhlings on the weekend was great. All of them brightened up my oh-so-dull life. Thankyou ah:D

Just realised that, i've been Macdonalds-ing quite often aye. Oh well, blame it on stress. Hee hee. Had been doing Chemistry, Physics& Biology lately. Got to brush up on them as fast as i could. Oh, did i mention that studying Biology with Girlfriend is ubber effective? Love her truckloads;) Alright, i'm heading back to school on Wednesday (i think) Um, for the sake of Amaths. Got to finish up Relative Velocity& the rest luh. Btw, sorry for being absent for the past few days :/ Olevel is just 14 days away (for written papers)! Mummy always bulldoze me into studying when i don't feel like. & i'm tired. But i'll persevere:)

Studying again on this Saturday? HAHAHA!

Haven't been seeing you for quite some time yal? Maybe partially the reason why i refuse to go to school is to not see you. Maybe its not. Perhaps this is the only way to stop myself from drifting off to those unrealistic dreamland and to focus on my priorities. Will you be happy to see me on Wednesday? Will you want to talk to me? Will you.. I dare not think/hope for anything. Because i don't want to come face-to-face with falling anymore. Once bitten twice shy. The easiest way to not get hurt is to not care. But that's the hardest thing to do. I'm falling apart with a broken heart yet i'm still breathing.

Zoe's a happy girl. Daddy said that she'll be able to change her phone in December, that's when her phone is 21 months old. YAPHOOOO!:] & I'll fight my way to AC since i'm not DSA-ed there while my Primary School friends are. I'm never gonna let myself down again. PROMISE.

Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul.

2007-10-03T18:24:00.000+08:00

Wassup yo!:)

For some reason, i'll not smile. Um, a real smile that's it. ~~Will missing you change the fact that i've already lose you?~~ Everything seems so dubious to me. I apologise for being sucha zombie these days. I apologise for being low-spirited. I apologise for being sucha bitch. My fault, blame it on me. As they say, "Time will heals everything." I hope its really true but i don't think it is. Because this feeling had been with me for almost 4years. Am i trying too hard to stay and hold onto something which is useless? I don't know. Please gimme an answer. I'm sorry.

Home-d with EC:) Didn't talk but i enjoyed it. Thank you for appearing when i needed someone most. You made my day& you made me smile though you did nothing. LOL. && we're both action people. HAHAHA!:/ Thank you EC:)

Can you see the effort i've made to forget you? Seeing you everyday of my life won't help me to forget you quick enough but i'll try. If Besties is what you want us to be, i'm fine with it. Because i'm glad just to be your Besties. At least we've broke the still atmosphere within us. Just that my heart is missing you. Imy.

I'm leaving the negative thoughts aside& focusing more on the positive ones. Prelims was a flop but i'll work harder for Olevels. Because somehow i know i'm going to do it. I'm not letting myself falling again. Enough is enough. Time to get serious, people. 19 more days to hell. I can feel the heat yo. Mug hard, earthlings! For Acjc, i will.

EC makes my day, everyday:)

2007-10-02T22:20:00.000+08:00

Alright, i'm being tagged by Jessica to do this little quiz. Hee.

Instructions:

The "Tagged" has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover. Specify the gender of the target. Tag 7 of your friends to do this meme and leave a comment on their page saying they've been tagged. No back-tagging! (:

Gender of your choice: Male -.-

1. Uh, tall? Well, at least taller than me:)

2. Oh yessa, he has to be a hotstuff too. Because I LOVE HOTSTUFFS! :] -wink-

3. Someone who smells good. (okay, i know this sounds -.- but people who smell weird turn me off)

4. Caring, thoughtful& humourous. He has got to know how to make me laugh like kuku. At least, i feel comfortable with him. Ohoh, he must also be able to withstand my lameness too. Hee hee.

5. Pleasing to the eye? Average at least. But i'm not picky cause i'm not very pretty too. BAH. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

6. With abs? They sort of make me go weak too. MELTS.

7. Actually, i'm running out of things to you know, write already? Hrm, oh yes. Guys who can sing. Like Nathaniel Hartono! Hee hee heeeeee ;)

8. Gotta be a potato like me. At least communicate in English (well there're time when i rojak it with Chinese too) because my Chinese sucks :X

That'll do. (For now) HAHAHAHAHA!
Everyone is tagged. Do it if you feel like to:)

Shrouded beneath my skin lies a broken soul.

2007-09-28T21:30:00.000+08:00

Wassup yo!:) Right, i was late for school today -.- Frigging sad. HAHAHAHA! But thankgod, Khartik was with me then. Hee hee. Everyone was like staring/looking at me, as if i was a criminal aye. Sian, everyone has the possibility to be late what:( Moreover, its the stupid traffic! Okay luh, partly my fault. I slept late last night, at around 2plus. Thus, i became a walking zombie in the morning. Adding onto the already-not-so-good situation, daddy had to leave home early as he had meeting. Therefore, i had to go school on my ownnnnnn:(

This week had been a really busy/rush/tiresome week for me. Each time i reach home, i just feel like diving into my bed& snore my time awayyyy. But, i have to pull myself up& force myself to study/revise. Well, my reward? Two beautiful panda eyes& being a walking zombie. How about the positive stuffs, people? School can be quite crazy for Px& i. WAHAHA! Formed a new group with Meta& Px. -inside secret- Muahuahua. & it had been a long time since i do silly stuff with Px& we actually broke the long record on Wednesday. -Nudge Px- Haha! Headed home straight after school. & books were all i had. The feeling was -.- But i know i had to study:(

Today's PE was hell lots of fun plus laughters too. Played hopscotch {traditional games} with Ain, Px& Limin. I almost dislocated my knee while playing& it scared the shit out of everyone till i dropped down on the floor and laughed. DANG. Perspire like mad& we're all happy people who want to play more. AHAHAHA. When was the last time the four of us got together and laughed our hearts out? Anyways, thankyou for today:)

I love today exceptionally. I don't know why. Its not because i'm late for school -.- Its just that when i think back of today, smile just comes naturally. Maybe its because i interacted a lot with _____ today. Maybe its because the way _____ smiled/talked at me. Maybe its because i know i'll be studying with Girlfriend tomorrow. Maybe its because September is coming to an end. Aye, i don't know. Got to go shake some hula hoop now. Takecare earth-lings& LOVES.

24 more days to hell. Its now or never, Zoe. MUG/CUP/GLASS/FLASK HARD!

Its too late to apologise, its too lateeee.

2007-09-23T20:02:00.000+08:00

Hello yellow people! :) My weekends were ubber great but at the same time, very exhausting.

Saturday: Had tuition. Breakfast at Beach Road -.- (don't ask me why) After that, we went somewhere luh, but i forgot where. Home sweet home afterwards. Slacked for a while before heading to Balestier to celebrate some Mooncake Festival thingy. I was like -.- throughout the journey. Alright, the events were quite entertaining but i was bored luh. Until this red jeans fella jumped out of nowhere. HAHAHA! He did some breakdance& we all went O.O He amazed me, like totally. He's just another hotstuffs. && hotstuffs usually turns me on:) Surprisingly, his name is JiaHao. Why does all the JiaHao(s) look so good? -inside secret- Okay, we left that place at around 9plus& reached home around 11pm. Watched Jacky Wu's show till 1am, as usual. It reminds me of Happy-pie though cause we used to watch the show together& message at the same time.

Sunday: Had tuition. Went Royal Hotel to celebrate Grandma's birthday. I ate till i almost faint. After the celebration, we went Bugis Junction to shop. Daddy, Ryan, Sarah& i ended up sitting in Macdonalds, munching on fries& nuggets while waiting for Mummy& Sister. Spent the entire day outside. Now, i felt so guilty for not studying luh:( Sigh, but i felt so drained& it seemed like i've no energy left. Damnit, i need to study! Oh, && i'm studying with Girlf next Saturday:) CAN'T WAIT! :D Hee hee. Um, okay i need to pack my bag for tomorrow& complete those schoolwork plus tuition work already.

_____, imy:( Why aren't you messaging me? Why aren't you talking to me? Why aren't you.. Is this the end of everything? I promised not to think of you. I promised not to miss you. I promised not to break my promise. But whenever i hear "When you're gone" by Avril Lavigne, i'll think of you. Sigh, nevermind. I'll put you aside for now. Because i really really really need to get down to my books& befriend with them. This is the most crucial period of my life. Its now or never. 10points. Acjc. Nathan Hartono. For myself, i will.

I will survive.

2007-09-20T20:55:00.000+08:00

Natasha Bedingfield - Soulmate

Incompatible, it don't matter though

'cos someone's bound to hear my cry

Speak out if you do

You're not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable

Is already in my life?

Right in front of me

Or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold

Who knows how to love you without being told

Somebody tell me why I'm on my own

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end

How do I find the perfect fit

There's enough for everyone

But I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold

Who knows how to love you without being told

Somebody tell me why I'm on my own

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory

They're all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn't long for someone to hold

Who knows how to love you without being told

Somebody tell me why I'm on my own

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Who doesn't long for someone to hold

Who knows how to love you without being told

Somebody tell me why I'm on my own

If there's a soulmate for everyone

I like this song very much. It somehow brought across the feelings which is being kept in me. I need someone to study with, urgently:( Gimme a call/message/anything. First in list, Girlfriend:) We shall hit the books soon. I'll contact you yal? ;) LOVES.

Finally an A1 for CCA. Its subtle to me. Okay, i promise Mr.Tan to stop using computer& study real hard. So, i shall stop now. That's all for today. Takecare earth-lings:)

No, don't break the silence. We'll remain like this here.

2007-09-19T22:02:00.000+08:00

Zoe ~~Almighty~~, its now or never!

I want to head to the library& borrow books:( Someone/anyone, please.

Ps, i like you.

Words can never replace feelings.

2007-09-18T22:02:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 13TH BIRTHDAY, SARAH! :)

I had a great time in school today. Okay, not for the first half of the day. My mood/rather me is feeling rather at the lower side. I guess its due to lack of sleep luh. I don't know why but i've been suffering from insomia these days. Must be Superman who passed it to me >:( LOL. I was more like a walking-zombie in school aye. But towards the end of the day, i was feeling rather high. There're lots of hilarious stuffs that happened on me today eh -.-

First, it was you-know-who. My heart raced like mad then. Sorry about that, you all shouldn't know about all this but, its beyond my control. Who to blame? -Points finger at Px- ;) HAHAHA. So, in order to get back at her, MUAHUAHUA. I did something which made her heart pounded like hell fast. Inside secret between us. Then, it was _____ again. But i'm cool, we're friends:) Somemore, best besties. (um, 2nd best. Cause Px is complaining) Hee hee. I wanted to ask _____ about um, you know. But.. Okay, this time blame my stubborn mouth. IT just refuse to open luh:( Ohwell, never mind. Right, this is the best part. I wanted to ask Zhaojing some Mathematics question cause my beloved Px is occupied with Besties's uncountable questions. So, i turned& asked. Being VERY nice, he said: I don't want to teach you. I don't like you. I thought i was reacting very fast but um, in a wrong way, i replied within spilt seconds: But i like you! (okay, the actual meaning of that is i want him to teach me& nothing beyond that) But it made sucha woo ha that everyone in class went: W-H-A-T?! -.-

Then, i left before completing the Maths worksheet. But i'm only left with 1 pathetic question& ITS 5PLUS! I had to developed some pictures& queue to buy donuts as sister's birthday present. HAHAHA! Kind of cheapskate but, its the thoughts that count right? LOL! && Everyone doesn't believe that its my sister's birthday today thats why i had to leave then. ESPECIALLY Besties& Px! -.- Its real luh. Px& Besties went around: Oh, i have to go now. Its my sister's birthday. DANG! Both of them could collaborate with one another so well. So, i ran all the way out. In the end, i had to leave Besties at the bus-stop& board 190 with Norman& Hui Xiang so to reach YewTee earlier. I made sacrifices too okay. LOL! Hope you had a great time with her:)

However, overall was quite okay. To _____, I could tell that you've not forgotten about her. But its okay. Cause i've not forgotten about you either. You're just being kept in a tiny winy secret place in my heart. But for you, i'll pretend that everything is oh-so-fine and the feeling between us had faded just to see you smile. Although it hurts a lot deep inside, as long as you're happy, i'm fine with it. There're a lot of things i wanted to tell you but i guess things will/shall remain like this. Perhaps this is the best way out for the both of us. I'm already glad to have you as my closest friend. Imy.

It hurts even more just to see you from afar and worst, as a friend.
I'm okay, really.

2007-09-17T18:46:00.000+08:00

OHYESSA! ;) Finally, its the end of Prelims todayyyyayyyayyyayyyy. Ohwell, it also marks the beginning of our worst nightmare - RESULTS TIME. Sigh. Today's Biology papers were not that bad. But i know, the result is gonna suck big time. Went through Emaths Paper1 with Mdm.Mary after Biology papers. 1Passed& still counting. Flunked Amaths Paper1& Passed Amaths Paper2. How great -.- My Mathematics is deteriorating tremendously. I guess we're bound to get back our English scripts tomorrow as well. Shucks. Dooms day for me, i guess. Ahhhhh, i don't want to go to school:( THERE'S P.E LUH! >:( LOL.

Alright, i'm bored& you-know-who is not online:( Hee hee. Ohyah, i must get a haircut -.- like soonnnnn. Aiya, let's kill time. I shall upload some ancient pictures to entertain myself:)

MY SUPERMAN! HAHAHA! :) {not the one in red -.-}

Well, actually uploading pictures can be sucha bore too. Sigh, I shall watch television then. Hee hee! Toodles earth-lings:)

Why nightmares happen?

2007-09-14T15:02:00.000+08:00

Yes, i'm feeling much better than yesterday. Thank you :) I have deleted some :( posts so, its a brand new day for me. Anyways, good day! Nathaniel Hartono& High School Musical 2 changed my mood. Those soundtracks i mean. Oh, i'm craving for Pizza Hut's Rosemary Chicken Cheesy Bites Fondue now. Thanks to their leaflet.

Spent the entire morning and afternoon on my tuition homework and tidying up my bedroom plus studyroom. They were kind of chaotic then but now, spick and span. Credits to me :) And the aftermath? Bloody backache. Mummy massaged it for me and i'm feeling pretty good now. I'm going to spent the rest of my day poring over Biology. Papers on Monday. Sigh, just hope that everything will turn out fine.

Pei Xuan: Your messages never fail to make people weep buckets. However, meeting you is the happiest thing which had occurred to me.

Ain: Your messages do make people weep buckets too. Thank you for being the brightest star even in the darkest hours.

Limin: I'll not be sad anymore. Doing badly for prelims only means no first 3months in ACJC. There's still Olevels.

Abdul: Besties, i'm alright now. Anyways, i'm awe by how you could sense my anger or sadness. Besties indeed.

Md.Hakim: Don't worry. I'm not sinking into depression, never. I'll be just fine.

Andrew: I'll try to go up and up. Even if i'm at my lowest point, i know you'll be there to push me up.
Wendy: Thanks for cheering me up.

Limei: You didn't say much but i know you care. Though my replies last night may be monosyllabic, i'm happy that you're there.

Jessica: Thank you, lovely. I'm not self-loathing anymore.

Kaifeng: Sorry for saying a load of crap to you last night, thank you though. And i'm not emo so please, smile.

And not forgetting Jiale: Darl, thank you for everything.

Merci - Thank you.

Everybody's changing. So little time.

2007-09-14T15:00:00.000+08:00

Lee Hom! -screammmmmms!-

2007-09-13T18:45:00.000+08:00

Its nothing nice, nothing pleasant. Its always about depressing stuffs. There's nothing blissful about life, well, at least for my life. I'm a temperamental kid. I loathe to be polite/kind/everything nice. I like to be alone with not even a single soul around me. I think opening my mouth to talk is a waste of time. Actually, i don't like to talk.

Yes, i'm a problematic child. Nothing satisfies me. Perhaps i'm greedy. I want more; i demand more. I love to curse and swear like nobody's business. I'm a well-known foul-mouth rapper. Trust me, you won't want to know/befriend with me. I also know that you (the one reading) will very much like to throw me a fist now. Because you're irritated; because you've had enough of reading emotional stuffs from me. But once again, there's nothing pleasant happening on in my life. So, i'm sorry.

Don't you people ever feel tired, after rounds and rounds of cheering me up? I don't deny that i need friends. But at the same time, i wish i had none. Because of all the problems and all the troubles, i'm facing/having. I don't want them to walk another winding road with me. They say, no matter what friends will always stand by you. But, what can they really do? Except to cheer you up when you're down, lend you a helping hand when you need one, share your sorrows when you have one. Can they change your life? Well, there're some exceptional of course.

I remembered my tutor gave me an essay to write. "Do you long to return to the past or look forward eagerly to the future? Why?" I pondered for quite some time and with much serious detailed thinking, i started. I would long to return to the past but i also know that it is impossible. And because of this, i decided to look forward to the future. If i'm given a chance, to end my life or to carry on with it. I would not be able to have an answer now but part of me wants to leave and another part wants to stay. Humans are such indecisive creatures.

Perhaps i had been staying on the seventh heaven for way too long. Therefore i was being brought back to hell again. I'm never an optimist though i always ask people to do so. Sometimes, i think its tiring to live a life. Life is just too dramatic for me. There are different people with different expectation and different perspective who have different belief in different situation. Why can't the world just be much more simple?

I've been snivelling since after the papers when we went down to the staffroom. Even on that damn public transport, i just can't stop thinking about it. And yes, Daud or in fact everyone watched me cry. Each time i wiped away those tears, they came streaming down again. They come whenever they like to. Its way beyond my control. Gorging down food seems to calm me down a little but it doesn't help much either. I like to eat. I like to eat to vent my anger. I can't find another way which really helps though. I just hope this feeling will leave me soon. But i can't assure you that i'll be a happy little girl again.

Don't bother to cheer me up. Don't waste your time on these unnecessary things. Don't let yourself worry about me. Cause i'm not worth your time. If you're tired of all this, i'm sorry. But this is the only place where i pen down my inner feelings. For the entire day, i've been in the same mood throughout. But the chatting with Zhiwei just now made my day a little. Though its just a simple one, he never fails to put smiles on my face. More to come next time. Thank you:)

If you think you're the worst creature on Earth, don't worry. There's still me.
I think i'm schizophrenic.

2007-09-13T15:29:00.000+08:00

F U C K.

I'm sorry. I just can't find a better word which best describes the situation i'm in now but fuck. To be exact, the fuck which describes extreme anger. There are balls of fury rising in me, i despise myself. Trust me, i can be very suicidal now. Very.

Fuck 1, i'm left with 39 days to Olevels.
Fuck 2, there's still Biology Papers on Monday.

Fuck 3, i'm a fuckwit.

Fuck 4, i've screwed every single paper for Prelims.

Fuck 5, i cried today.

Fuck 6, i felt sorry for all the teachers who had taught me.

Fuck 7, i'm having no mood now.

Fuck 8, i'm home alone.

Fuck 9, its my parents' 21st anniversary today but its a sad day for me.

Fuck 10, i'm just a useless cow.

Fuck 11, i loathe the number - 11.

Fuck 12, i don't want to go to school.

Fuck 13, my eyes are idiotically pain.

Fuck 14, Px's message made me weeped like mad on 307 just now.

Fuck 15, Daud watched me cry.

Fuck 16, i shopped 7-11 again (i usually do that when i'm down)

Fuck 17, i bumped into my cousin just now&..

Fuck 18, i just want to die.

Fuck 19, i'm never optimistic.

Fuck 20, i've pretended to be strong all these years.

Fuck 21, i'm never myself.

Fuck 22, i'm actually a doleful person.

Fuck 23, the essays i wrote are always melancholy.

Fuck 24, i never thought that i would be suicidal.

Fuck 25, i like to smile so much till i forget how to do it now.

Fuck 26, i know you wish you never knew me. Yah you, the one reading now.

Fuck 27, i'm tired.

Fuck 28, i stuff myself with food whenever i'm angry/sad.

Fuck 29, the chips/ice-cream/maggi/candy/orange juice are swimming happily in my rummy-tummy now.

Fuck 30, i just want to blubber like a child now.

Fuck 31, i don't know how long i could rant on.

Fuck 32, i just can't stop cursing myself.

Fuck 33, can i have a better brain?

Fuck 34, i want to be intelligent.

Fuck 35, my eyes are still painful.

Fuck 36, my heart is wrenching now because i cried too much just now.

Fuck 37, i know friends care but i want to be alone.

Fuck 38, you don't know how emotional i can get.

Fuck 39, i need to study.

Fuck 40, i'm off to die now.

Luckily i'm not a muslim. Because i like to curse& swear truckloads. No use cheering me up now cause i just refuse to. Yes, i'm obstinate. I'm sorry, blame it on me. Its my fault afterall. I can blame no one but myself though i'm restless now. I'm tired. Goodnight world.

Try until you fail, fight until theres no hope, but never give up.

(Contridicting.)

2007-09-11T16:18:00.000+08:00

I do want to be an all-rounder, like you you you & you.

But i'm nowhere near. -pause- I can't sense/feel/see myself getting flawless results in reality. I can't smell the air of victory. I felt lost. I felt stupidity. -pause- I'm not a solitary child but i find myself living a life of solitude. -pause- I had been real strong lately, really. But i almost burst out in hot tears while scribbling down the answers during Amaths. I was cursing myself for being dumb. I so wanted to sob my heart out but again i held back those unnecessary tears. -pause- They're everything i'm not, period. Lord, please grant me some leeway.

It seems to me like, no matter how hard/how much effort i had put in to study, the results of mine are still the same. -pause- Did i not put in enough effort? I believe so. Did i not have the capability to excel? I don't know. Did i not fall enough from those countless disgusting failure of mine? I don't want to fall again. Did i not try? I did! I really did. Damnit, i don't know why but i'm snivelling now. -pause- I know what's done cannot be undone& i also know that there's no use crying over spilled milk. But i really really really, really really am feeling very downcast right now. Oh, forget it. No one will know how i'm really feeling right now. Its in an influx of emotions.

PS. I actually did pause at places where i sprinkled '-pause-'. Just so you know.

Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience.
(i know, but..)

2007-09-06T21:00:00.000+08:00

Maybe someday, i'll go.

Innervoice.

I think part of the reason why we hold on to something
so tight, for so long;
is because we fear something
so great will never happen again.

2007-09-06T20:42:00.000+08:00

I want to hit Sentosa& then return looking bronzed.
I want to head down to town to get those b-e-a-utiful heels.
I want to sink my teeth into that deeleecious Macdonalds Big Breakfast.
I want to catch Ratatouille, I know who killed me, Enchanted& Stardust.
I want to drink that coffee (from TCB) i had with Md.Hakim at Sentosa.
I WANT TO GET POB! (Posh's bob)
I want to own that Everlast shoes.
I want to eat Subway.
I want to kayak!
I want to live at Pulau Ubin.
I want to catch jellyfishes with Spongebob.
I WANT TO GET POB! (Posh's bob)
I want to say hello to Superdog's hotdogs.
I want to paint my nails black, like last Summer.
I want to sing at Kbox.
I want to lose those flubbery muahchee (points at cheeks)
I want to slim down o.o
I WANT TO GET POB! (Posh's bob)
I want to sleep like Sleeping Beauty.
I want to shake your bombom.

Sigh. But first of all, i need to fight& win a battle. Anyways, mummy is fulfilling my third wish tomorrow. We're Macdonalds-ing first thing in the morning. YAPHOOO! :)

The hardest part about growing up is letting go of what you were used to, and moving on with something you're not.

2007-09-03T21:43:00.000+08:00

The love of my life :]

I can just look/stare at him for the entire day, without feeling bored/tired.

2007-09-01T12:00:00.000+08:00

Hello yellow, people! :D It had been some time since i last update aye. Hrm, i've been on a rollercoaster ride for the past few weeks. But thanku Baby& the rest for being there luh. All the encouragements/motivations/heart-felt words. Thanku very much.

Alright, Prelims have officially started. 2 and 1/2 papers down. Screwed every single one, i think. Sigh. I loathe careless mistakes. What hurts the most isn't when you don't know how to do but when you make countless of mistakes which you know you shouldn't have. -roll eyes- Tsked. Okay, back to HAPPY STUFF as well as HOTSTUFF :D

Caught Hairspray last evening/night with lovely girlfs: Ain, Limei, Shahirah, Jessica& Liying at Cineleisure. Two thumbs up for that film! Its ubber good. ZAC EFRON IS FRIGGALICIOUS HOTTTTTTTTTTTT :D Everyone in the cinema went "Ahhhhh!" when he comes on screen. Jessica, Liying, Limei, Ain& i were like oogling/drooling/evaporating over him aye. Okay, uhm maybe i was the only one drooling -.- The minute Efron winks, i faint. Like totally! He's oh-so-hotttt. Oh, sister was watching the same film at the same time in the same cinema as me yesterday. I was like -.o luh! After Hairspray, headed Taka with Sister& Jiayu for dinner before train-ing home.

I have been hunting for Efron's pictures like crazy ever since. -screeeeaaamms like an ice creammmm!- Hee hee, had some ohmyheaven pictures of him. Enjoy! :]

Personal favouriteeee! -screams!-

AHHHHHHHHHH! :P

FRIGGALICIOUS HOTSTUFF! :)

Ohmygod mygod mygod!

He winks, i die ;P

2007-08-20T23:59:00.000+08:00

There's just so much more to it.

Life' s a chore. Too much of a routine, maybe. And I'm hating it.

I'm sick over reviewing the same old messages and pages. But somehow, i just can't stop doing it. Its a habitual thing running in my veins. Shrouded beneath our skins lie broken souls. And like you, i want to be wanted. I do want to be healed. God.

You took me away. It felt all good. And while i was intoxicating in the unreal, you threw me right into a private ocean. Like a virulent bacteria; you ate up all my desires and reliances. Maybe you don't give a damn cause its prolly the umpteenth time you have trampled on little hearts. Maybe you weren't even prepared for anything. Or maybe you were just being you.
Maybe. If.

Its taking my life slowly. Why don't you stop that nervous bleeding in my brain.

2007-08-20T23:53:00.000+08:00

She is running in a black corridor, alone,
passing myriads of memories she fought so hard to forget.
The past and present juxtapose,
reminding her of how her sandcastle had fallen to the waves.
She is in pain, and agony,
but no one can hear her perpetual scream.

When everything comes flooding back,
How do you possibly ignore it all?
I guess people can run away from their present surroundings.
But how do you run away from what's in your head?

Its interesting, albeit in a sad way, how she choose to use poems as an act of defense again.

I will be on a semi hiatus mode as prelims are coming. In any case if you guys were to miss me, do drop a message, with lots of love.

2007-08-20T23:40:00.000+08:00

I promise.